I just want you to know that I love you. Tonight I was working on a project for someone. A mix cd.
This naturally made me think of you. How many mix cds have we made over the years? I know that at this point they're probably pretty passe to most people. I know everyone just likes to share playlists or whatever, but I still can't think of much that makes me happier than having someone hand me a mix cd. What better way to express your heart or your brain or your soul or your feelings to another human being that to sing them a letter? Because that's all a good mix is. It's a letter. A story. A way to say those things we struggle so hard to say sometimes.
You know all of this though. You know my theories about mix cds (and letters and so much else).
Kay, we may have changed a lot over the years, but I'm glad our friendship still holds true. I am still grateful for every hug, every bit of laughter, the cards, the whispered conversations in church, the listening ear, and the advice. You have always cheered me on and never failed to give me hope and kindness when I needed it most.
I'm sure at times you think I've gone off the deep end with all my moves and all the weird plans/dreams that I talk about (whether or not I ever manage to pursue them), but you still love me. I worry sometimes (okay, a lot of the times) that I'm going to turn into that flaky friend that everyone kinda snickers about because they're always the one who says they're going to move to China or go back to school or teach themselves to quilt but never do. That person with the never-ending to-do list of dreams that never manages to live. I am scared to death that I will be that person, and sometimes I worry that's how everyone is beginning to see me (which would be fair given the track record I've had the past few years...please, I'd love more failures...), but you still make me believe that I have a future. I don't think I'll ever have words to express how much I appreciate your love and belief and kindness.
Kayla, you are one of the kindest people I've ever met. I've, as of yet, never met a person who could say a bad word about you or who didn't love you immediately. And how could it be any other way? Everyone should be so blessed as to have a friend like you. I love you, Kay. Thank you for loving me and for being my sister and one of my best friends through all the insanity and grief and laughter over the years. God really blessed me when he brought me you.