The past two days have been super weird. Nothing unusual happening in life itself, but I feel horribly off. Maybe it is the grey skies or rain or just the fact that I feel cut off from everything. It finally hit me that I was here.
I am here.
I am not at home in Atlanta, living with girls that might as well be my sisters, going to a school I love (no matter how screwy the people running it can be at times), babysitting my cousins, and loving my life.
Nope. Instead I am at home in IL.
I am trying to make the most of this. Honestly, I adore my family and the people here. I love being here, buuut...it's the smaller bit of me now. Unfortunately the bigger part of me is wishing like crazy that I was in Atlanta.
I hate feeling like this. I hate feeling ungrateful and sad. I hate that I am feeling an ache and avoid yawning inside me. It is killing me.
So I work hard to find ways to make other people happy. I have always found that if I work hard to make other people have better days...my days go better.
Today I made pies. I made one for my family (blueberry, cranberry, pear, and cherry) and one for my church's AOP booth (just cherry). I wanted to write some letters, but considering how frumpy and whiny I am, I didn't think anyone would want to read the letters I felt like writing.
Why am I letting myself be this way?
But...to end on a cheerful note: a list.
Favorite things of this very moment (9:54 pm CST):
- Pie. Delicious pie.
- The younger cat always showing up when I put together my sandwich for tomorrow's lunch (she will someday sit on command)
- Clean clothes fresh out of the dryer
- "The Tick" cartoon show...ah the joys of my youth