Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Yellow Light

I just don't want to fall into an old pattern.

I am a large and glorious glass of sun tea and ice while you sit on the porch at sunset. I am Pablo Neruda's poetry filled with passion, blood, and light. I am a room lit with candles and the amber glow of lamps not florescent. I am your favorite jeans that always make you look good and feel so comfortable.

But am I seen like that?

Let it cool or let it burn. It makes no difference to me anymore.

Am I strong enough?

Where do people find the strength to change their lives? Where do I find mine?

ps. Yellow Light mix:
1. Change Your Mind - The Killers
2. Arch Drive Goodbye - Eve6
3. Bad News - Kanye West
4. Walk on By - Seal (this is the acoustic version of the song)
5. Messenger Bird Song - Bright Eyes
6. Sweetly Broken - Jeremy Riddle (Thank you, Nathan)
7. Flightless Bird, American Mouth - Iron & White
8. Uncomfortably Slow - Newton Faulkner (I'm really falling in love with this man's beautiful songs)
9. Apologize - OneRepublic
10. Free Fallin' - John Mayer (he's wonderful, and does a great job with this cover)
11. I'll Be OK - Sondre Lerche
12. Everybody's Gotta Learn Sometime - Beck (Amber's favorite)
13. Better that We Break - Maroon 5
14. Somebody to Love - Queen (seriously.)
15. Here Comes the... - Butch Walker feat. Pink
16. If I am a Stranger - Ryan Adams & the Cardinals (this song amazes me)
17. I Need Words - David Crowder
18. Bella's Lullaby - Carter Burwell (because you need to end with hope. always.)

Friday, March 20, 2009



Favorite things of this very moment (12:12 pm CST):
  • The Greg Holden video above
  • Unsweetened ice tea
  • Sunshine & warmer weather
  • Not wearing shoes
  • The black hoody that I recently realized I own, is super soft, and can bonus.
  • "Meet the Robinsons" on DVD
  • Emails & notes from my favorite people
  • Knowing I get "kidnapped" by Ben for dinner tonight, it's wonderful to have your close friends home...even if it's not for very long

I have come it a bizarre bit in my life. I'm a bit panicky at the moment because having till January to pull together money and uproot my life is totally insane to me. I'm going to do it because it is time and I'm excited to, but it still seems crazy. How do you do this?

On top of which, I'm realizing the relationships I have been involved in for the past couple of years are all changing. A few of them are really growing as time moves, and I've become close to a group of people who truly love me and encourage me. On the other hand, one of the people I've depended on most...seems to be pulling away. Or maybe I'm pulling away. I'm no longer completely sure who's doing what. I don't want to lose the friendship, but maybe this is the only way to really make this work.

Life continues to change.