Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Every Girl Wants to be the Exception

(Trust me...every girl really does want to be the exception.)

Favorite things of this very moment (12:22 am EST):

  • "One Night with the King" (God bless NetFlix)

  • Knowing I have mail from Jay on the way

  • Unsweetened ice tea

  • Esther. For such a time as this.

Tonight I am working on maintaining some kind of sanity. I, as always, do not know what the future holds. God only knows what is going to happen next, but I am excited.

My goal for the summer is to love and be loved.

This summer it looks like I will be heading home. I had intended to stay in McDonough over the summer because I hate moving and I did not want to be a burden to my family at home, but it seems God has other plans. As always, God has other plans.

I am okay with this.

I, as I said, do not know what I am being led into, but I do know that I am going to walk headfirst into the dark and be okay with it. This is faith.

The other night, Amber was reading something for a paper she was working on about love in the New Testament, and she said that "patience is love waiting." I wish I knew who said that, but sadly I do not, but they are correct. Patience is love waiting. Love waiting.

I hate waiting, but even so I want to be love. I want to practice love. I will work harder to embrace that patience. I will practice love waiting.

I will be myself. And I will be the exception. Each and every day.

One of these days I will be recognized for this exact thing. As the exception. After all, every girl wants to be the exception.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

New Experience Post

I haven't updated you on my random new experiences in awhile. I think I'd better do that. So here goes:

First picture: my Grandma & Grandpa Cheatwood's 50th wedding anniversary party. The picture below has all 4 of their sons (including my amazing dad), their wives, and all the grandkids minus 2 that couldn't get back from college, plus my brother David's wonderful girlfriend, Kelsey. It was a great event and you definitely have to take the time to celebrate when people you love have been able to maintain relationships like that for so long.

Next: this picture was taken on Amber's 20th birthday. She, Jake and I went to the Marietta Diner because Amber and I had seen something about it on the Food Network. The picture you see below is a picture of the delicious thing which I ate while there. It was called a Caribbean Monte Cristo. Freaking delicious. If you have the opportunity, you need to go check the diner out. Everything is good.

This next picture is of Jake on his 20th birthday. He is holding a sword. HIS sword. Sam knew Jake wanted a sword, and so he found this one. I actually got to be a part of that choice, and it was really cool. I've never been asked so many questions about swords or had so many things suggested to me. Every bit of that was great. Sam was super excited about it, and watching him so happy about finding the perfect gift was quite great. And I don't think Jake could have loved a gift anything more. It was totally beautiful.

This next picture is of me kissing Queso. Queso is my wonderful friend (and cousin) Jennie's creature. He is a traveling donkey and he gets pictures taken all over the place. The weekend of Jake's birthday, Queso was delivered to me for the weekend, and he went to the zoo with me and to many other places. This was my favorite picture from the weekend.

Sam took this picture for me of one of our favorite shops in Pigeon Forge. We affectionately called it Fudge Knife Swimwear Leather. It looks beyond tacky, but it was actually pretty awesome. Sam bought a knife and a ridiculously adorable key chain of a tiny bear from this place. That was a really great afternoon.

I love this picture. This is Rocket Jesus. He lives inside of Cornerstone Bible Church. It's actually a rather adorable statue, but it's just one of those things that leaves itself open to a lot of silliness. I mean no disrespect to the maker of this statue or Jesus or my church, but this statue does seem a little crazy. I am a fan.

This is a picture of Cayce. She is Sam and Jake's younger sister. Cayce is one of the most stunningly beautiful young women I have ever encountered, inside and out. She is glorious, and one of the new experiences I have had recently is getting to know this wonderful girl. This picture is from ABC-I, and it was that weekend that market the beginning of what I hope is a life-long friendship. She is incredibly sweet, funny, and smart. She's hoping to come down to the college eventually, and I am looking forward to the prospect.

This is a picture of the beautiful blueberry pie I made Sam for his 22nd birthday which was the same weekend as ABC-I. Everyone saw this pie because it was in my kitchen when all the kids were touring the apartments. Yeah...I've never made a boy a pie for his birthday before, and I've definitely never written their name in pie crust across the top. That was a couple of firsts, and I think I did a beautiful job. He really liked the pie.

This picture is me holding my beautiful "niece" Maranatha Hope. Dan took this picture of us when I was up visiting in March. She is a beautiful little blessing, and I think she is going to bring her family a lot of joy. She's such a beautiful tiny miracle.

For now this is all the pictures I will share, but you've gotta admit, I've been doing things.

And on one last random note: I desperately want a massage. When I finally get some revenue going, I'm definitely going to find a place to give me a good massage.

Monday, May 2, 2011

Madness of the Gods (or Lust and Why I'm a Bad Person)

For the past few days I've been rereading Rob Bells' incredible book Sex God. Today as I was reading I was struck by something he said:

"Lust comes from a deep lack of satisfaction with life. This is why we have to slow down and reflect on our lives before we'll ever begin to sort out the significance of this. Lust often starts with a thought somewhere in our head or heart: 'If I had that/him/her/it, then I'd be...'

When we're not at peace, when we aren't content, when we aren't in a good place, our radar gets turned on. We're looking. searching. And we're sensory creatures, so it won't be long before something, or somebody, catches our attention.

And it always revolves around 'if,' doesn't it?

If I just..."

Uuuuuugh. This sums me up.

The last thing I want to do is to objectify someone else. I don't want to be bored and frustrated with what I'm placed in in life. God put me here for a reason, and I want to be able to be content in this. If Paul could be content in all circumstances, including shipwreck, prison, etc., why on earth am I incapable of doing the same?

I don't want to feel like I'm incomplete without someone in my life. I want to see other people as the beautiful creatures they are and not as something that I must "possess" in order to feel justified in life and complete.

The more I think about it, the more I wonder if there is something wrong with me. How do I reframe my mind? More importantly, how do I control my thoughts and my heart? I want the overflow from my heart to be positive and wonderful. I want it to be, as Conor Oberst said, "the warm yellow light" that covers the people I love. I want to be something good in the lives of others and I don't want to lust after people and things in any capacity. I don't want that to be one of my many faults.

Yesterday, Sam and I were discussing fasting. Two weeks ago he did a 3-day green tea detox, and this past week I did one. The thing that impressed us both was that we realized we were capable of that kind of restraint. Three days with no food. Three days of green tea and water. For a pair of kids in their early 20's who grew up in America where people eat constantly, you gotta admit, this is pretty impressive. I'm not saying we're super heroes or anything, but I was excited to realize that I can say no to things when I feel it's important.

I told Sam what excites me most is the fact that this means we can use this same principle in other areas of our lives. I think it's high time that I figure out how to make this happen in the rest of my messy life. I've learned I'm capable of more. I need to prove it.

Sam is talking about doing a day of fasting each month, and I think this wouldn't be a bad plan. It would be nice to prove to myself that I can do this each month. Plus it would, as Sam put it, give me motivation and help me see what I can do. Plus, if I make sure I do this once a month, it will make it something sacred and important. I can do more to focus on God and maybe continue to learn to listen.

Things to think about.