Sunday, February 14, 2016

You, Me, & Jimmy Fallon

Happy Valentine's Day.

Tonight I sat on the couch and watched about 4 straight hours of comedy with my folks. Was this a Valentine's Day I'll remember? I hope so. 

I still don't know who I am, but sometimes when I laugh this hard, I am reminded great things are worth the wait. 

It might sound ridiculous, but this really hit home tonight while we were watching Fallontine's Day (yep, Jimmy Fallon's second anniversary special). My folks and I were talking about what's so great about Jimmy. He's funny, plays multiple instruments, is kind, loves children and animals, can make anyone smile, writes thank you notes, does dead on impressions, and loves ridiculous games. He is so talented with such weird and delightful skills. 

All I could think was that he was born for this. He was truly created to bring others joy. I wonder if he really realized it was possible to take all those skills and use them like he does now. It had to be mind blowing when he realized he was exactly where he needed to be. 

I've spent so much time lately thinking about just that. Thinking about how my skill set is eclectic and I'm not sure how to best utilize it for the greater good, but Jimmy Fallon reminds me that no matter how random or weird your skills and passions are, it will all come together. 

Just because I'm not the world's most beautiful women and I can't speak a second language or play a guitar doesn't mean I'm not fascinating or worthwhile. 

You know what I'm great at? Writing thank you notes and postcards and handwritten letters. I make delicious pie and beer bread. I can quote movies and figure out where you've seen that random actor before. I give truly unique wedding gifts and make mix CDs. I am a wonder. 

You are a wonder too. 

Tonight I'm praying that we truly learn to love and appreciate ourselves, and our gifts, so that we can be healthier, happier, better, and brighter lights. We'll find our way. 

Night and, again, happy Valentine's Day!

Monday, February 8, 2016

More Color!

I am completely exhausted.  I thought I was going to fall asleep standing up in my living room earlier while laughing at Stephen Cobert.  I am rarely so tired as I am tonight, but here I am over an hour later staring at my computer screen and slowly finding words to type.

I couldn't help it.  I just wanted to know if anyone had said a word to me on the ridiculous online dating site I semi-recklessly signed up for.  Especially since my dear friend Jordan issued a challenge last night, and in order to resolve it, I have to attempt to actually stick with this site for a little while and give it a chance.  Most everything in me would like to run screaming away from this because of all the "what if's" like "What if no one likes me?" "What if the guy I end up liking and actually agreeing to meet actually ends up to be a serial killer and he murders me before we even go to dinner?" "What if a guy asks me to meet him and then he turns out to be a total liar?"  "What if I find a great guy and then scare him off by being myself?" etc. etc. etc.

Yes, I am overthinking this.  It tends to be what I do in such moments, but at least I'm trying to do something different.  I keep hoping I'll realize I'm living through all the things that will be the 30 second or so worth of montage that shows all the steps I took to change something for the better in my life.  It really isn't a bad life, but I'd like it if I could fill it with more color.

Always more color.

So for now, good night.

Favorite Things of This Very Moment (12:05 AM CST):

  • Tom Hiddleston reading Derek Walcott's Love After Love
  • Knowing I should have a new bed set up to sleep on tomorrow night
  • The game 1010! (I blame you for this, Caroline Walters!)
  • Peyton Manning getting this super bowl win (He's still my favorite)
  • That I can actually sleep in tomorrow!  Woo!
  • Jordan's challenges & Nikky's hilarious encouragement and kindness
  • Sleeeeeeeeeeeep

Saturday, February 6, 2016

Saturday Night

Spending the weekend alone is both a blessing and a great excuse for me to be insane.

I let myself be easily talked into trying online dating again.  Is it a great idea?  Probably not.  Will it last longer than any of the previous attempts (current record is 3 whole days)?  Probably not, but who knows.  I actually read a profile of a guy that sounded like he'd be a lot of fun, so maybe something could be different.  If not, at least I'm trying something (however briefly).

In the meantime, I'm going to eat some cheddar whales and watch Dan Akroyd and Tom Hanks make me laugh in Dragnet.  Then I'll go to sleep so I can wake up painfully early for work.  Woo.

Quick question though: why do all 80's cop movies have to involve a scene in a strip club?  I mean, is this a federally mandated thing or just fad?  Do all male cops have to spend time hanging out in strip clubs?  I'm genuinely curious.

Now to get off the interwebz or at least most of it before I make myself crazy.

Favorite things of this very moment (8:58 PM CST):

  • Dragnet
  • Having my new bed here even if I can't set it up on my own
  • Clean clothes
  • Nikky's ridiculous encouragement
  • My iPod
  • Cheddar Whales
  • Having the house to myself