Friday, October 22, 2010
on the side of the interstate
He holds up his sign
And says he'll do anything
for some money
I've see him twice
Each time I've been alone
And I wonder
What should I do
for this old man
sitting on the side of the road?
I have barely
to make it through a week
Do I give this to him?
Do I bring him what food I have?
Do I just keep praying?
I do pray
Each time I see him
But that can't be enough
I find myself thinking about him
more and more and more
that if I see him again
I need to do something
Action must be taken
help must be given
The love of God must be shown
Thursday, October 21, 2010
- Finding out I got an "A" on my Christian Ethics exam
- Feeling pretty sure of my topic
- Listening to Jake singing "Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen even though I'm trying to shut him up
- Watching several hours of the "Corbert Report" this morning while watching Caleb
- The incredibly beautiful fall weather
- Jimmy Muffin, my Uncle Jon's family's stray cat (he adopted them) who decided today to follow me into the house and curl up on my lap and purr until after the girls got home
- Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows
I have no idea where my life is heading, but I know this one thing: it will be good. And the damn dementors will leave me alone.
Saturday, October 16, 2010
- The last of my Vinnie del Rocco smoothie from last night's Planet Smoothie run with Cynthia and Mitch
- Knowing that within the next 12 hours I should be hanging out with my very most ridiculous, awesome, hilarious, wonderful, best friend, Nikky
- Being completely done packing
- Knowing the apartment is clean
- Go Serve plans being finalized (or as finalized as they can...)
In about a half hour I should be driving over to the ABC building to meet up with the rest of the Go Serve team to head up to OH. I am stoked.
Go Serve simply means we are heading to a community and we're going to do what we can to serve their needs. On this particular trip we're heading up to a community in OH and we're going help with a church youth group, help an elderly couple deal with some trees that are causing them problems, helping clean up a camp for winter, and serving a meal at a place called Rainbow Table. There may be some other projects along the way, but whatever the case, I am excited about this trip.
I get to stay with Nikky while I'm there, and I should be seeing my niece and nephew at some point along the way. Life is good.
I'm often amazed by what God brings into your life.
Go Serve is actually what brought me back to ABC. They came up to my church last year to help with a variety of projects, and I asked if I could help while they were at the church. I ended up spending a Saturday with this group, and I don't think I will ever regret that decision. The passion they showed for serving others and showing God's love through their service was mind blowing. Here was this group of people in their early 20's all excited and working to do their best to serve God and love people, and I wanted to be a part of this.
Being with them gave me the push I needed to head back down to ABC. I saw God speaking to me through the kindness and joy of this group, and it was incredible. Completely and totally incredible.
My hope is that our love and joy as we go and serve this weekend will be inspiring to people in OH. Although, the people in OH seems pretty incredible to begin with, but then again, can't we all use some encouragement?
I hope you all have an amazing weekend. I know I will.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Monday, October 11, 2010
- The cast of Glee singing on shuffle on iTunes
- The 25 cent ring happily, ridiculously displayed on my left pinky given to me by Jordan and Amber
- Knowing that tomorrow morning will be spent with Caleb and Abigail
- Getting an email from Dar considering that I wasn't sure how best to get ahold of her to tell her that I was in fact not dead
- Amber and Jake being back home
- Knowing I get to see Nikky on Saturday night!
Sadly, Jordan didn't get to come visit us, but I do know that we'll all get to see him at the end of the month, so it will be alright.
I'm, again, filled with words, but none of them seem to want to show themselves to anyone. Why is this?
Today I made a wish at 11:11 in the am. I consistently impress myself with my silly habits. I am highly aware of the craziness or imaturity of this particular tradition, but I feel like some of those are good to hold on to. You need to blow bubbles on the balcony and wish on stars. You need to color in coloring books and take the time to enjoy pudding or watch kids movies. I think sometimes this is the healthiest release a person can have.
Maybe that's just me.
A friend of mine posed a question this evening that I'm still working on finding an answer for. She asked who I am? Who any of us are.
I am many, many things. I told her that this was not a question to be answered all at once. That's something that would have to be answered over time. I'm still working on how all of this works. How do you go about explaining who you are? Is there a proper way to go about doing this?
Then again, I'm not terribly "proper" to begin with, so that probably won't work.
I think I can safely say this much: I am a woman who is still trying to figure out what truly catches and holds her joy and passion. I am trying to figure out what exactly God is trying to convey to me, what He is saying in my heart and life. I am a girl who loves coloring books, sharpies, and books, books, books. Especially if the books are used and have someone else's notes and writing in them. I love reading other people's love letters, and I love writing my own to a man that I have yet to meet. The little things in relationships are the ones that touch me the deepest, and I like writing thank you cards because you never know when that may be exactly what someone else needs to hear. I am envious of my best friend, Nikky's mad language skills because I have as of yet to get myself to learn one languange let alone 4 or 5 (what's the count now, Nik? It always amazes me). I am a major weeper (as Jude Law says in the Holiday). Scary movies of any variety really aren't something I want anything to do with because I feel like life is scary enough and if I wanted an adreneline rush, I'd learn to cliff dive (I so want to). I am magic and light. I sometimes speak in poetry and wish I was more like Shakespeare or Whitman or Edna St. Vincent Millay or, possibly the best of the best, Pablo Neruda, but then I think, God gave me the words I have...why wish they were someone else's?
I know I'm cryptic at times, and I know so many other times I say things that are so transparent, but do you hear what I'm saying?
I do not know the extent of who I am. I am trying to find that out.
Do you know something about me that I don't? Do you see something that I don't see?
Just some questions to throw out into the night, but I'll take any answers you can supply. And with that, I say good night.
Sunday, October 10, 2010
- John Mayer singing "Who Did You Think I Was" through my laptop speakers
- The hope/possibility/joyous thought that perhaps Jordan will be able to visit
- Knowing I'll get to see Nikky sometime this coming weekend (I'll explain, Nik)
- Tall, blue glasses full of unsweetened ice tea and ice
- Hope. Real hope.
Tonight I've been reading and rereading "Ordinary Love Stories" on Andre Jordan's "a beautiful revolution" blog. They're both inspiring and heart wrenching.
I think what I love the most is that these stories are about everything. A momentary infatuation, a hope, a dream, a best friend, a husband, a boyfriend, a lover, and Ex-es. I love all of it. Each one says something different, and each one is something to treasure.
Sometimes I wonder how many of those relationships have known the magic that the stories say. I know the one I wrote encompassed all my hope for a future that, in looking at it now, I know will never become a reality. You have to wonder how many relationships could be saved, expanded, renewed if only the writers showed this kind of love and poetry in their real relationships.
Then again, maybe the love and poetry they felt was only something that could be said in an ordinary love story. Maybe it was more of something meant for a story and less of something they intended to live or could live.
I've spent a lot of time this week talking about death, and though it may seem weird to bring this up, I can't help but believe they're connected. I just know that if you've experienced loss and the deep, utter sorrow connected to it, that you should also understand when I say that it makes you want to let go of your inhibitions and live.
I think perhaps what we all need to do is just work on seizing the joy and wonder in life wherever we can. Not only that, but I want to express the poetry, tell the stories and say the words that most people try to hide from because God only knows how many more days I will have to do any of this.
Don't hide it. Don't let it become an ordinary love story best suited as a tale on someone else's blog. Live. Passionately, joyfully, ridiculously, while we still have breath.