Saturday, October 12, 2013

(43) Tripping my Own Heart

It's pretty bad
When you're the one
tripping up your own heart

How do I grow?
Where do I go from here?

Your new life seems happy
buying houses
thinking about starting a family
Your wife inserting your name into conversations 

Is it sick to still wish
I knew
if even for a single moment
you thought about
picking me?
I just wish I could understand
why I never had a chance

Am I not pretty enough?
Or thin enough?
Is it because I really can't dance?
What's my fatal flaw?
Or did I throw it away 
when I didn't give you a full answer
that night in the car?
Or kiss you that day you backed me into a wall to talk?

Apparently I'm neurotic 
& obsessive,
but I still wish I could tie up
these loose ends
in more than just my dreams

Soon you'll see my face again
hopefully,
even with my heart on my sleeve, 
when you look through me
You'll see a better woman
than the one I use to be

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