- In This Diary which is a mix I made Mr. Laurent
- Ice tea in a tall Ohio State cup
- "Don't Move" by Butch Walker...this song pretty much makes everything worthwhile
- Uncertainty that also moves toward hope
I took a nap for about a half hour earlier. It's been an eternal day somehow, and I feel like it's been more like a whole week than just one day.
When I woke up this morning, I bribed myself with Jay. Telling myself that I would get to see him at church which was just one more reason I should wake up, that and the fact that sunshine was streaming in my window looking very inviting.
I couldn't eat breakfast because my adrenaline level was already so high that I was jittery. I had the mix for him in my purse, and that's all I could think of.
By the time Jay actually came into the church, I couldn't stop smiling. It was like my heart had overridden my common sense, kicked everything into overdrive and I was pretty much feeling like no matter what happened it could only end in good.
After practice, I handed him the mix and walked off before he could say anything else. He looked very surprised.
Church pretty much flew by. It was beautiful. I tripped Kayla on accident in front of a bunch of people and yet no one seemed to notice which was hilarious. We sang "Blessed Be Your Name," and for whatever reason, it totally broke my heart singing it. Memories I had successfully mastered were suddenly there. They were just floating around in my head and I couldn't stop crying. The amazing thing, I think, was the fact that I wasn't the only one crying and none of us felt bad about it. No one questions tears during that song. Never. And I am GLAD.
After church Jay thanked me for the mix twice and reminded me that he would have my mix done soon.
The real question is...will he see it for all that it is? Or will it just blow by, again.
I guess we just wait to see where it goes from here.