Saturday, May 17, 2014

Cliff Diving

Day after day I question my heart and my intentions. 

People ship us. Do you realize this? 

You're lovely.

I feel like I'm standing on the edge of a cliff, and I can't decide whether to dive or not. My adrenalin is starting to surge, but I can't decide if I'm ready for this. More worrying? I'm not sure I'd land in the water or hit the rocks if I do jump, and I'm not sure I'd survive hitting the rocks. I've done that before, and I barely survived. I'm just now nearly healed from that fall; am I really ready to risk this?

Know this: if you decided to clear away some of the rocks or show me where I could jump, I wouldn't hesitate. I would choose you every day, and I would do all I could to make you laugh. I would support you as you continue to grow into the man your becoming. 

But I don't think I'm really what you want or what you're looking for. 

It won't be long now before I find myself staring down the rocks. If I'm smart I'll pull myself away from the edge. 

I miss reckless desire and being fearless. 

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