I should never ever ever be online or alone late at night. It's bad. Well, being alone late at night really isn't bad. I just don't like being the only person in my house late at night. I feel pathetic saying that. I'm 24. I should be able to handle living alone. And being alone.
Why do I suck at this?
Is it because I am use to living in a house with 5 other people and 2 cats? Is it because she's just a big wimp or something?
Perhaps I'm just not meant to be alone.
And really, I'm not alone. My beautiful Bible is sitting right next to me and I have the promise of tomorrow to look forward to. I'll get to go see friends, and God is, as always, filling my heart. Even late in the evening when I feel very much alone...there's always more.
On a random note, I will now make a list of things that I have recently managed to try/do/teach myself for the first time:
- Taught myself how to use the Ice Tea Maker Regina gave Amber and I
- Used a garbage disposal
- Been into every room of our apartment (I didn't touch Amber's stuff, but I did just walk through her room, it felt weird to have never done that before)
- Hung out with just Jake by myself (including being in the car with him just by myself)
- Babysat for Zach & Zuaquis
- Had dinner with Bob & Nola by myself
- Went to SC (FINALLY!)
- Taken advantage of someone actually offering me a place to stay
- Used a GPS system to get somewhere
- Taught myself how to program my coffee maker
- Watched "Glee"
- Stayed in my apartment by myself
- Slept on a bed with a memory foam topper (I want one)
- Asked my father for advice with guys
- Asked my uncle to talk to someone for me so that I didn't have to fight the urge to hit them
- Driven Amber's car
- Had blisters the size of quarters develop on my feet (that one better never happen again)
- Get someone else hooked on poptarts
- Toasted marshmallows on the stove
- Babysat for some turtles (Did you know that turtles can actually get excited to see people? It's true. I've seen it.)
- Let Mitch and then Calvin drive my car
- Talked to my cousin Hillary on the phone (and it didn't even feel forced or awkward. I forget how completely cool she is.)
- Protect a baby snake from being attacked by a bunch of scared girls
- Had the world's most epic game of Roomservice (I love the ongoing game, Jordan. It's something I really look forward to on an almost daily basis)
- Admit that I'm scared of going to the fitness center here because I pretty much constantly feel like a cow
- Emailed my father on a pretty regular basis
- Watched "A Very Potter Sequel" on YouTube with Amber & Jake
- Asked Nikky if I could have one of her paintings (I've wanted to for a long time, but I didn't have a good excuse, and now I have big blank walls in desperate need of her brilliance and color)
- Started reading Wild at Heart (Thank you Uncle Jon for happily giving me your copy so that I can write all over it...woohoo!)
- Had an "adopted" family: the Bartons are AWESOME and having Jaysen as an "adopted" brother is a unique experience
- Having a gift card for Macy's (Thankfully Amber will be going with me the next time so that maybe I'll walk out of the store with someone more than a small thing of chocolate and a $2 pair of earrings...even if they are super cute)
- Paid for a meal in all change
- Got a hug from my former Moe's manager (which actually really made my day)
- Tried brisket (mmm...)
- Had someone actually realize how weird I was about touching other people without me even having to say it
- Put stickers on my phone (hey, they're penguins from Kendall and Cam, I can't pass that up)
- Made a friend from the Bahamas
- Started saving my weird spare change for a future with someone special (whomever he is)
- Made a bracelet out of guitar strings
- Drew my own version of Trogdor (twice actually)
- Received a hand drawn picture from Macklynn Rager that is now proudly being displayed on my fridge: