- Knowing that at some point this afternoon/this evening I will work out
- Having some kind of crazy plan
- Nola being beyond kind and generous with her time, consideration, and love
- Texting capabilities based in Amber's beautiful iPod which spends most of its time with me these days
- Sunshine and perfect weather
- Having a functional camera with which to take pictures of Mitch when he comes in and randomly collapses on our living room floor and then takes the next 10 minutes or so to eat green beans and a brownie while laying on the floor...
- Having Amber on my side
- Prayer, so, so, so much prayer
- And Hebrews 6:19 which starts with these words, "This hope we have as an anchor of the soul..."
I've spent a lot of time this week thinking about honor. Anyone that's been near me for the past month or two has probably heard me yell, "Fight with honor! You will win!" at least once. It's become something that is a running quote in my head. I find this both hilarious and encouraging. It's hilarious because it comes from Jackie Chan yelling those words at Owen Wilson in "Shanghai Noon," it it's encouraging because I'm realizing those are the words I need to be remembering.
Recently I've started finding myself in a series of strange situations. Situations that require me to decide how I want to proceed. I can go the easy way or I can choose to fight. Maybe you're an advocate of peace regardless of the situation, and if you are, I'm sorry that I cannot say I agree. I'm not fighting anyone physically, but I am fighting.
In my family honor, truth and love were the things we were taught to seek above all other virtues. Maybe you don't agree with that either, but I am glad my parents taught us to do these things. And no, I can't say that I always do the honorable thing, but I do try.
Especially right now. Since coming to ABC this semester I have encountered a series of situations in which I've had to decide whether I was going to allow myself to be pushed around, lied to, talked down to, and more recently, forgotten. You'd think that some of these things I should be able to just avoid, but I've realized that it would do little, if any, good to do that. I've come to a place of testing.
Right now I'm watching my boundaries be tested. I'm working on maintaining proper boundaries between myself and other people so that I neither shut them out, but I also don't let just anyone into my life.
Right now I'm watching my heart be tested. I'm trying maintain purity of heart and strength. I'm working hard to hold God first in my heart and let all other things fall into place after Him.
And I'm trying so hard to trust. To trust that God will protect my heart as long as I let Him hold onto it. That He'll provide for me. I think that's the hardest part. The trusting. It's not my strong point, and I know I need to be better about this. Plus, God hasn't failed me ever. And lately, I've been seeing Him work in my life more and more. It's not that He hasn't been before, it's just that I know I haven't been listening or watching for it.
And now I'm fighting so hard to stay on the radar. To not be forgotten. Ever. In fact, I'd like to be a priority eventually.
Hope though...that's what I'm really working with. I'm stepping up and fighting with honor. I'm holding onto the hope that recently showed up in my life for dreams I've been fighting and/or ignoring for awhile now.
Hope is the anchor of my soul.
Fight with honor, my friends. You will win. With hope, I will too.