Monday, February 1, 2010

I've Tied My Hands

Favorite things of this very moment (11:21 am CST):
  • Chad Vaccarino and his lovely voice
  • Nikky's lovely mixes...she's a genius with music in English and Korean
  • Heat
  • Hearing the dryer running downstairs
  • Knowing I have gingerbread cookies I could be making
  • Being honest with myself and with the people I love
  • Proving myself wrong in a good way
  • Time

This morning I gave a friend of mine some advice. He hadn't asked, but I was watching him deal with a girl I'm pretty sure he's liked for longer than he'll admit, and it drove me nuts. I am a woman of action. I do not do well holding still, and watching him spend most of his weekend with this girl constantly with him made me wonder what he was really going to do.

He and I have talked about it a time or two before, but he doesn't seem to believe in long distance relationships. He feels like they can't work, and I find this hilarious. Yes, long distance relationships are hard. Yes, they are a constant struggle to maintain, but if you actually want to be with someone, aren't the good ones worth the fight?

This morning I told him he needs to do something. Take some kind of action. Either he needs to tell his girl what's really on his hard and take a leap of faith, or he needs to leave her alone.

I may not be an expert on love, but I'm pretty sure she really likes him too. I don't think she would have traveled 800 or so miles to come to a retreat by herself if she hadn't wanted to see him. Yes, she had other friends that came to the retreat we were all at, but honestly, she seemed to have eyes only for him. I know the look. I use to have the same one when he was around, so I'm not just throwing out ideas for no reason.

If he cares for her at all, even just as a friend, he'll do something. He'll either tell her that he's frightened, but he wants to try, or he'll tell her that they can't be together because he can't handle the distance and let her mend. Otherwise, he's just going to keep tearing her open again, and even if she's not my favorite person (which, sadly, she's not), no one deserves to feel like a yo-yo in someone else's hands.

I've said my piece. Either way, in a sense, this ties my hands. And I'm glad.

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