I'll end this post with my favorites list. A little cheer might be needed. Eulogy
I have to admit I don't know what to say. I wish I was more eloquent. I wish I was somewhat better at saying how I really feel, but I'll try.
Yesterday morning, as I sat on the ottoman in front of my beautiful orange overstuffed armchair, I found myself wondering how exactly you let go of someone you love. It's not the first time I've asked myself this question, and sadly, I know it won't be the last. I'm not sure I'll ever know the answer to this question, but I'll keep trying.
In the chair, laying on top of a pair of blankets and a set of towels, wrapped in a third, was Cally. My beautiful 15 year old cat. Her once clear green eyes cloudy from cataracts she's had to deal with for the past year or two, her body so thin I could feel each vertebrae down her spine and could, with minimal effort, count her ribs...
When I woke up yesterday morning, I knew my life would be changing, and this time not for the better. I knew I was waking up to say goodbye to a beloved member of my family. Cally was dying.
I have had pets die in the past, but none of them has been like Cally.
Cally was something special. Cally use to always know exactly when she was needed. If I was having a bad day, was hurt or upset or angry, she always would show up. I have no idea how she always managed to do this, but she would always choose the moment when I didn't think I could deal with it any longer to show up. She would then rub up against my leg or arm. She'd curl up on my lap or next to me and purr. Few things in the world are more soothing than a purring cat. She'd stay with me until I had calmed myself down.
Cally also was incredibly well behaved. Where Mira will steal my yarn while I'm working on something, Cally would just curl up on my lap or next to me and watch. She learned that she could play with the yarn as long as she didn't slobber on it (something I'm still trying to teach Mira, gross). She, after training early on, never jumped on the table.
Cally loved to eat cinnamon toast. She also like pound cake. She once ate part of a grape sucker which was totally bizarre. I shared powdered sugar donuts with her occasionally, and she loved to lick the top layer of Nilla Wafers off (yes, they do have layers). Occasionally she'd drink my tea or water (mind you, I wouldn't after that...sheesh). She loved to lick the ice off windows or the condensation off cups. What I really never understood was why she drank out of faucets. She hated the bathtub, but she'd drink out of the bath faucet or the bathroom sink.
I use to love when she'd sit with me while I was using sidewalk chalk. The colors would rub off on her feet and fur, and she'd leave green and pink footprints up the sidewalk and on the carpet of the front porch.
She use to love it when I'd rub her tummy. She rarely let anyone else rub her tummy, but I always could. Usually by the end though we were wrestling. She'd be kicking at my hands and I'd be teasing her.
Cally, as most cats do, really loved catnip. Once while on a trip I bought her this tin of fake mice called "Three Blind Mice." It came with 3 little fake mice that were furry and were stored in this tin of dried catnip. Cal always came running when she heard someone opening the tin. She was also the kind of cat that would roll around and enjoy the catnip, but she would never get grouchy. Just ridiculous. Kept me entertained every time.
Cally was my baby. I was the only one who could pick her up any time. I was the only one who could hold her on her back. She didn't like it when most people picked her up, but all I had to do was pick her up and she'd be purring.
She was a wonderful, beautiful, silly cat. I loved her very much, and I will miss her.
So...goodbye, Cal. You were the best. A good girl, always. I love you.
Favorite things of this very moment (11:43 am CST, because I think we need some cheer now):
- Cinnamon Rum Pecan coffee
- Kindness of friends (Linda, Mom's boss at Dynamic got us stuff from the coffee shop because she felt bad about us losing Cal....far above and beyond the call of duty, and totally unexpected...she's a great lady)
- Having a game night to look forward to on Saturday
- Great old pictures
- Plants vs. Zombies (Nik, we have it. Joel bought it yesterday, so you'll have to put it on your laptop next time you're here...seriously...it's the perfect mind numbing activity for a bad day...I was up late playing it last night...helped a lot)
- Ellipses... *winks*
- Fall sunshine
- Dave Barry (everyone needs something to laugh with)