Tuesday, May 18, 2010

I don't think there's anything worse than feeling helpless and hopeless.

Today I feel helpless. I'm watching someone I care deeply for hurt, and I'm just not sure what can be done to change that. I really wish, on a number of levels, that I could turn time back a little and see what might have been.

Although, I guess it's the "might have been's" and the "what if's" that are really the problem at the moment.

And I wonder, when will things change. People always say things will change when you least expect it. The thing is, that seems to make you sit and wait even more. Instead of causing you to walk away, that kind of statement just makes you hold on to that wish even harder, but this time you close your eyes.

Closing your eyes doesn't actually change anything. If just makes everything dark.

I'm going to just keep my eyes open. I'm going to watch for change because walking away doesn't seem to work. And I'm going to pretend those cliches aren't well known for real reasons.

Let's pretend the world is fresh and new and that everything really is as possible as you think it is when you're a kid.

Maybe that's what it takes to change.


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