Wednesday, February 15, 2012

All the Words that I Wanted to Sing Got Replaced with a Wedding Ring...

He is jealous for me. Loves like a hurricane. I am a tree, bending beneath the weight of his wind & mercy.  When all of the sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory and I realize just how beautiful You are and how great Your affections are for me.

David Crowder*Band totally speaks my heart.

Today I am grateful for love like a hurricane that bends but doesn't break me but instead points out to me that I am loved by the Creator of the Universe.  I need His love so desperately today.

There is a great Matthew Mayfield song called "Fire Escape" which I believe I have mentioned in other posts, and the song ends with him saying, "All the words that I wanted to sing got replaced with a wedding ring."  I have had that song playing in the back of my mind for ages and ages now  with the hopes that this wouldn't be my song.  This song wouldn't be always playing in the back of my mind.  Today it finally becomes mine.

by Andre Jordan
All the words that I wanted to sing...they were replaced with an engagement ring.  And God only knows how long they'll be replaced with wedding rings and vows.

"Fire Escape" won't always be my song.  One of these days it will fade and I'll be able to have something else echoing with joy through the back of my mind.  For tonight though, I will let myself mourn the loss of a best friend who chose a path none of us expected, who chose to cut me out of his life virtually every way he could have, and who is now engaged.

R.S.B, my dear friend, my sunshine and heart, I wish you happiness.  I pray that God blesses you, my dear.  That He gives you clarity of mind and heart so that you can make good decisions that will bring you love and bring you closer to Him daily.  If this woman truly brings you closer to God and brings out the best in you and your heart, than I ask that He would bless your relationship as well.  I just want you to be healthy and happy.  You are something good.  Really, you are.  Please never doubt that.  I love you.

And now, I think I will crank some better tunes, try to sleep, and keep my phone off for awhile.  Things will be better in the morning.


Nikky said...

I saw it two minutes after he posted it on facebook. I've been thinking about you all day. I love you, and miss you, and if you need anything, just let me know.
One shining day Jaymin, all of this will work out. I know it will. :)

Jaymin said...

Thanks. So much. I miss you too. And thanks. A million times. Just knowing you're there makes life a little easier. Today it isn't too bad. I ended up home sick for day 3, and I don't know how much of it is because my heart is broken and how much is that I'm actually still sick. Being heartbroken definitely doesn't help you heal. The nice thing is that today is filled with sunshine and candied bacon bowties (Joel wanted candied bacon for his birthday, can you believe he's already 18?) and good music. It will work out. It will. I just need you to keep reminding me. And being your awesome self.
Love you. So much.