Friday, November 11, 2011

A Fool's View from the Fire Escape:

1. Lost Love - Mindy Smith
2. Fire Escape - Matthew Mayfield
3. Kill - Jimmy Eat World
4. What I Know - Parachute
5. I Caught Myself - Paramore
6. You Keep Me Hanging On - The Supremes
7. Make Me Wanna Die - The Pretty Reckless
8. Missing You - Tyler Hilton
9. The Kill - 30 Seconds to Mars
10. Leave the Pieces - The Wreckers
11. Hopeless - Train
12. Your Time is Gonna Come - Led Zeppelin
13. Friends Don't Let Friends Dial Drunk - Plain White T's
14. How's It Gonna Be - Third Eye Blind
15. Your New Twin Sized Bed - Death Cab for Cutie
16. So Close - Jon McLaughlin
17. Moonlight Kiss - Bap Kennedy
18. Coffee & Cigarettes - Michelle Featherstone
19. (If You Want It) - Relient K
20. I'm Gonna Find Another You - John Mayer

It's been a long hot summer and I'm still trying to leave you alone.  I heard the cold wind say I was a fool to stay, but I did.  I did. I know what I should do, but I just can't walk away. I can't help it, baby, this is who I am.  I can't just turn off how I feel.  And I'm not certain of the way it was.  And I'm not sure what I could have done... I had to stop myself from saying something that I should have never thought.  You're not the one I believe in.  I don't know what I want.  You don't want me all yourself, so let me find someone else.  You don't really love me.  You just keep me hanging on.  And I'll never be good enough.  Every time I think of you, I always catch my breath.  I'm still standing here and you're miles away.  And there's a storm that's raging through my frozen heart.  It's my heart that's breaking down this long distance line tonight.  You said you wanted more, what are you waiting for?  I'm not running from you.  Look in my eyes, you're killing me, killing me.  All I wanted was you.  You're not sure that you love me but you're not sure enough to let me go.  Baby, it ain't fair to just keep me hanging 'round.  It's alright, ya, I'll be fine.  Just take your love and hit the road.  There's nothing you can do or say, you're gonna break my heart anyway...  Everything has changed around here.  I'd tell it to your face, but you lost your face along the way.  And I'd say it on the phone if I thought you were alone.  Why do things have to change?  One of these days, and it won't be long, you'll look for me and I'll be gone.  Do what you want.  I can't feel you anymore.  You can say all these beautiful things, but they mean nothing.  You gotta back it up.  I'm only pretty sure that I can't take anymore.  How's it gonna be when you see that I'm not there?  It's the silence I can't ignore.  I use to think that someone would come along and lay beside me in the space that they belong, but the other side of the mattress...the box springs they stayed like new.  What's the point of holding onto what never gets used?  All that I wanted was to hold you so close, and I almost believe that this one's not pretend.  We are so close, so close and still so far.  I can feel my heart.  It's fit to burst.  I tried to clean it up.  But it just gets worse.  I wish I could fall, on a night like this, into your loving arms for a moonlight kiss.  I hate to say it hasn't helped me yet.  I thought my problems would just disappear and all my pain would be in yesterday.  I watched my bad habits get flushed away.  I thought that would keep my head on straight and all my pain would be in yesterday.  But it's true, I'm still blue.  But I finally know what to do.  I must quit.  I must quit you.  I can't keep a straight face and say this is not the end.  Cuz this is the end if you want it.  You're not the first thing in my life I've loved and lost.  There are worse things that I might be less inclined to just shrug off.  I am convincing myself that I'm worthwhile because I know that I'm worth what I convince myself to be.  I took the fire escape and made it out.  I still burn from time to time, but I am healing.  It's really over.  You made your stand.  You got me crying.  But when my loneliness is through I'm gonna find another you.  You might have your reasons, but you will never have my rhyme.  I'm going to sing my way away from you.  I'm gonna find another you.  I hope he's nicer too.  So go on baby, make your little get away.  Now I'm going to dress myself for two.  Once for me and once for someone new.  I'm going to do some things you wouldn't let me do.  And I'm gonna find another you.

Here's to hope.

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