Saturday, August 15, 2020

Collab 6: 4Am

There are still nights when I question
If I'm in it for the right reasons
Am I selfish?

I always wanted
To be something good
For the people around me
For my family
For friends
For strangers
But, mostly,
Always,
For you

Some nights I worry,
Did I trick you into
Believing I was/am truly a good thing?

Is this just the ghost
Of a past that I know
I can't run from?
A reminder of a melody
That use to set me on fire
To burn me to the ground?

The words still sting
"You're too much."
"You could look better
If you dressed this way."
You should
You could
Why are you?

Those echoes never leave

I know I'm not perfect
I look in the mirror every day
(As if I needed the reminder)
And I see my flaws
Not just the scars
Or the stretch marks,
But the triggers and wounds,
The sins I hide 
The bitter words
The fears that I let 
Tie me down and hold me back
From all that I could,
Or should,
Be doing with my life
For me and you.

I know the shadows that still linger

Just know,
Please just know,
I love you

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