Sunday, March 23, 2014


Is it selfish to pray that God brings you someone to share your life with? There are so many people more together, kinder, prettier, and more deserving than I am. I feel selfish for wanting to find someone to love, but I know what my heart of hearts is longing for in this life. I know I want to spend the rest of my life making someone else's life better every day. I know I want to raise kids in a loving (though probably goofy/crazy) environment with the person I love. I just want, as selfish as it feels, to get a chance to start this relationship before I truly am too old to have healthy kids and watch them grow up. 

I spent the past 2 weeks playing with my beautiful nephews, and I know how much work and stress a family can be, but the joys outweigh the risks. 

I realize that some people are gifted in the talent of being single, but I can't do this forever. It will literally drive me mad. 

I'm going to keep leaning into God. I can't see this path, but I know I'll be moving again in the next few months among other things. God will help me find my way and hopefully I'll come out the other side with a stronger faith and renewed heart. 

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