Be the Good

Tonight finds me dancing along to The Bravery's "Ours," and fighting the urge to open and drink a whole bottle of Moscato by myself.

Does anyone else constantly what to scream when they watch the news because it never seems like there are good things?  Sex scandals, abuse, murder, shootings, robberies, kidnappings, disappearances, war, death, rape, and natural disaster.

More than anything, we need Christmas.  We need the hope and light and joy of the Advent.  A reminder that 2000 years ago God sent us hope in the form of a little baby boy that would change everything.  He came to bring us light, forgiveness, love, peace, and joy.

Jesus.

What a truly beautiful name.  A name that means that someday this will all be over.  There won't be anymore of this terror or horror or pain.  You won't wake up to find that your best friend is dead, people you love are having kidneys fail, someone's house has burnt down, your car is broken again, your family is broke, you've lost your job, you're sick with a disease that may kill you, or that children have been abused and no one stood up for them.  No, none of that will happen ever again.

Instead you'll be standing hand in hand with the people you love smiling out into eternity.

May it come soon.

I realize this may seem early, but I'm wishing you a Merry Christmas tonight.  If your day, week, etc. has been anything like mine, I think you deserve a little Christmas early.

So let's make it feel like Christmas tonight and from this moment onward.  Let's find a way to do something good for someone else tonight, tomorrow and each day.  Let's make sure that everyone has a bit more good.  We all need more hope and good news.

Be the good.

Focus

This morning I sat trying to read a friend's poem for about 5 or so minutes before realizing all I was catching was the briefest and most random of phrases and bits...it was like I was just seeing random words flash in front of my face. I couldn't for the life of me focus my attention on that poem. This type of distraction seems to happen more frequently all the time. I am sure that this is mostly my own fault. I tend to multitask a bit more often than necessary. Listen to music or watch a movie while I'm trying to read or talk on the phone or IM or email someone or play with Mira or check on Cal...the list grows continuously.

For instance, right now I'm typing this and listening to "Anyone Else But You" sung by Michael Cera and Ellen Page. I keep swinging back and forth between listening to them and thinking about what I want to say. It's genuinely much easier to listen to music while typing than most other things.

I don't know. Last night I was talking to Dan Bliss (father of the Prince Harry look-alike winner, Matthew Bliss) and he was telling me he use to stay up all night reading a good book. Realize he was still up at 4:30 in the morning when he had to go to work at 7:30. (*It's 11:11 am. I'm going to make a wish. I wish that the guy who keeps showing up in my dreams would actually be real and show up in my actual waking life.*) I told him this was something I understand well. I do. If I find something I truly love nothing can stop my focus.

And maybe that's the key. I need to be in love with something in order to focus. Fear often makes me lose focus, but love drives out fear. Even in the simple things. If I fall in "love" with a book I will read it without thought to how it might break my heart by the end, and the same often applies to movies.

That's such a cheap example.

What about friendships and people? If I truly love a friend, little, if anything, distracts me from them. Projects for people I love are the easiest most often because I do them for the silliest of reasons...and sometimes for just plain good ones.

Crazy though I am, I firmly believe in showing love. Even if that love never gets returned. There's no point in holding love inside you when it needs to be given to someone else. When you love someone, that love no longer belongs to you anyway, it's theirs. Make sure you give it to them. That's my thought at least.

Well...that's trailed off a bit from where I started, but...that's not a huge surprise. This, after all, is just my jumbled heart and thoughts.

Favorite things of this very moment (11:20 am CST):

• Fairly Odd-Parents! (makes me miss my own personal Cosmo though...*sigh*...if only--let's skip it)
• My cellphone
• iTunes' shuffle function
• This blog, even when I'm a blithering idiot (which is more and more often it seems...)
• Tyler Hilton, Foreigner, soundtracks, and Coldplay

Thoughtful

Favorite Things of This Very Moment (9:59 am CST):

• Ugly Mug Vanilla Coffee (if you'd like to order any Ugly Mug products, let me know. Joel is selling them as a continuing project to raise money for camp.)
• My Spiderman mug that was left at the house by Jeff a million years ago and very much became my own (kinda like the thermos)
• Capt. Benjamin Franklin Pierce (he's...what I want. I love M*A*S*H. Sorry, Nik, I just can't help it...)
• Monogamy & fidelity
• Jay's idea for deer being made of jell-o from now on (I'm hoping for marshmallow myself)
• Cream Cheese Muffin Puffs
• Josh Deane's honesty and storytelling ability

May I make some suggestions? Well, hopefully I'm not being too forward, but I'm going to make suggestions anyway.

Mom and I were talking yesterday, and we discussed our mutual, time-tested belief that when you're miserable or stuck in a rut, what you need to do is help someone else. Few things will pull you out of yourself and your self-pity like helping and focusing on another person for good things.

I realize I am constantly promoting good-fairydom, but how else can a person survive in the cold of this world.

Everyone needs a little cheer. Donate some old clothes, collect some old clothes to donate, or even make some clothes to donate. Make cookies to share with someone (might just help you make friends with your neighbors or co-workers). Ask someone for their opinion on a good book or movie and then actually take their advice (it'll give you a chance to talk to them about something they enjoyed). Buy someone a coloring book and crayons when you know they're having a bad day. Few things in life can't be made a little brighter than a new box of crayons. Volunteer for some kind of service organization: a shelter, the Red Cross, Habitat for Humanity, etc. Help out with your church. Just spend time with your siblings. Write a handwritten letter. Mix cd's. Or maybe just give someone a genuine compliment. Do an extra chore.

It's about the little things. The tiny bits of cheer that you can bring to someone's day.

Just something to think about.

Try New Things

Let's start with an old thing that I love to do, my favorite things of this very moment list (11:28 am CST edition):

• John Denver, John Mayer, and Jay Laurent's music
• Folder's Hazelnut bistro (or something some name like that) coffee with a little sugar and some milk
• My beautiful Fujifilm S 3000 digital camera
• Amazon.com
• The Visual bookshelf application on facebook
• Getting a call first thing this morning to get question on various things Kayla likes and what I think about various things for her bridal shower at the church next Monday night and then also getting asked to lead games...ha. More on that later.
• "Covered in Rain" by John Mayer

I decided that while Nikky and Kayla are both at FUEL I will attempt to do as many new things as I can this week. This is mostly a mental ploy on my part to keep myself from getting frumpy and whiny and too bored while my best friends are at FUEL. Besides, who doesn't know the magic of trying new things? They always seem to pull you out of a rut and sometimes help you understand yourself a little better, so onto new things.

Let's start with the one that's probably my favorite this morning: Getting a semi-famous musicians cell number. Yes, that's right. Brandon Clark gave me his number. I probably shouldn't publicize that. He might have crazy stalker fans. That would be bad, but I'm just so excited that I actually have his number and that the next time I'm in the south or I know he's in town I can actually call him and see him. It's kinda the coolest thing ever. Besides, this means Nikky will actually get to meet him in person one of these days! Party! Bonus!

Last night I took the first of what will hopefully be a series of Ned Flanders Photos. Oh yes. I have plans for him. He's going to travel with me this week. Show people just how exciting my life is. Hahahaha.

Spent some time this morning on www.beehiveco-op.com. Made myself a little sick looking at the prices of their clothes, but really like the concept and the way everything looks. Maybe one of these days I won't feel insanely guilty for just looking at the stuff on the site and maybe I'll actually purchase myself an outfit.

Gail Tuttle called me this morning and asked me a bunch of questions about Kayla's preferences on snacks for the church bridal shower for her, and I realized I am losing all that I know about Kayla. This week I'll be working on some Kayla Appreciation Projects. I started working on a mix for her last night and hopefully I'll have at least 2 for her by the time she comes home. I also determined that I need to buy some Arbor Mist for her couples bridal shower (which I am tempted to tell Jay he should go with me to except for the fact that we're not a couple and I don't know if it's healthy to even in the back of my mind somewhere always feel like we should be even though I know we never will be and that it's probably just as well...sheesh). But back to the church bridal shower, Gail asked me to lead the games. I agreed. Yeah. Maybe I'm crazy, but this is for my Kayladrew and I'd do just about anything in the world for her, so we'll see how that goes. Gail was going to try to come up with some games and I'm going to lead them. I wish Kayla was home so that I could make sure this is what she wants, but she's at FUEL and I'm going to leave her be to enjoy her week.

Hopefully the new things will continue. I'll do what I can to make sure they happen. :) More as this develops.