Collab 6: 4Am

There are still nights when I question

If I'm in it for the right reasons

Am I selfish?

I always wanted

To be something good

For the people around me

For my family

For friends

For strangers

But, mostly,

Always,

For you

Some nights I worry,

Did I trick you into

Believing I was/am truly a good thing?

Is this just the ghost

Of a past that I know

I can't run from?

A reminder of a melody

That use to set me on fire

To burn me to the ground?

The words still sting

"You're too much."

"You could look better

If you dressed this way."

You should

You could

Why are you?

Those echoes never leave

I know I'm not perfect

I look in the mirror every day

(As if I needed the reminder)

And I see my flaws

Not just the scars

Or the stretch marks,

But the triggers and wounds,

The sins I hide 

The bitter words

The fears that I let 

Tie me down and hold me back

From all that I could,

Or should,

Be doing with my life

For me and you.

I know the shadows that still linger

Just know,

Please just know,

I love you