Day 14: Kimmieboo

Dear Kim,

Thank you.

I love you so much, sweet sister.  You have seen me through so many hard times and laughed with me through the good times (and sometimes through the bad times, which is the only way to survive I think).  I just want to thank you for being my sister.  Few things in life are quite so beautiful as knowing someone claims you as family when they aren't required to, and you always do.  Thank you.

It's hard for me to believe that we're as old as we are.  I still remember climbing that sand hill behind East Oregon before VBS during the summers while we were growing up (even if we weren't really supposed to do that), and I feel lucky to have known you so long.  I still find myself thanking God for pushing at my heart to go to ABC because I would've missed out on so many wonderful opportunities, but more importantly, I would've missed out on relationships like ours.  We've known each other for ever, but I am so grateful that we were at ABC together.  I can't imagine what my life would be like without you, K-boo.  Your prayers, laughter, encouragement and love are a constant source of comfort and joy.  Thank you.

On top of all this, thank you for making a place for me in Ki's life.  It's such an honor getting to be an aunt to your little munchkin.  He's such a sweet kid, and I can't believe how quickly he keeps growing.  It's going to be fun watching him grow up and being a part of all that.

Thank you for always making time for me and being a part of my life.  It means the world.  I love you, Kimmie.  You are a blessing and a godsend.

Thank you.

Love,
Jaymin

Day 13: Alex Hirsch

Dear Alex Hirsch,

Thank you. 

Thank you for creating something as ridiculous and wonderful as "Gravity Falls." I finally started watching it this week, and I'm in love. It's like "Supernatural" for kids (but I don't want to cry all the time). Your characters are charming and funny. Dipper and Mabel are the kids I wish I'd grown up with. Grunkle Stan is insane but lovable. The monsters and crazy incidents are unique and never quite what I expect. More please!

Thank you. 

Love,

Jaymin

Day 1: Nikky

After what seems to be a long hiatus, I'm back.  I've decided to accept the Write 31 Days challenge for 2015, so for the next 31 days (barring the typical level of weird incidents my life likes to be full of) I'll be here writing.  We're supposed to pick a topic to spend 31 days writing about, and that is proving to be the most difficult part.  Part of me wants to write on love.  Part of me wants to write about gratitude.  Part of me wants to write about change and challenge since I'm trying to face both, so in the end I think I'm going to be writing about some of the incredible people I love as a sort of tribute/letter to them/thank you/love letter.  Gratitude for incredible people and the love I feel for them and what they do.  I hope this doesn't mess with the general idea of this challenge too much.  We'll see.  At any rate, here's day one.

Dear Nikky,

Thank you.

I started writing this letter and realized I was writing it to the Internet to explain who we are when the whole reason I was going to write this letter was to tell you how grateful I am that you're a part of my life.  I hope it's not too embarrassing that I'm doing this in a public forum and that people we know might see it along with who knows how many perfect strangers.  Somehow putting it out in the universe makes it both anonymous and incredibly long lasting, and hopefully you'll feel okay with that.

I'm just grateful.  I'm grateful you still write me letters back and tell me your stories even though we're states apart.  I'm grateful for the long phone calls when we find time to make that work.  I'm grateful that you call me your sister and your best friend.  I'm grateful for the gales of laughter over highly inappropriate things and incredibly awkward moments.  I'm grateful that you have always been willing to stand with me and stand up for me and that you've always had my back.

Even more than this, I'm glad that despite all the change, health issues, relationships, and everything that we are still friends and still manage to grow closer as the years go by.  I will never be able to express to you how incredibly honored and surprised and amazed I was when you asked if I would be willing to be your boys' godmother.  I've never been asked anything so important or so easy to say yes to.  A day hasn't gone by since you asked that I haven't been amazed all over again by your trust and that I haven't been awash with gratitude with the opportunity this affords me.  I adore your boys, and I will do everything I can to make them feel loved and wanted no matter what life brings our way.

My plan is still for us to be roughly 103 and living in the same nursing home stirring up trouble by racing our wheel chairs down the hall and scaring the crap out of the new CNA's, so you and Yan need to stay healthy and very much alive.  I'm still hoping one of these days I'll meet a great guy, settle down, and have a couple kids of my own so that my godsons can have godsiblings (is that weird to say? "godsiblings?" is that a thing?), but even if it doesn't, I'll enjoy getting to be a part of your boys' lives.  Thank you for giving me that joy.

And Nik, I love you.  We make the weirdest, best pair and I am glad God gave me you as a sister and as a friend.

Love,
Jaymin

(7) Visit

Home again

Comfortable & relaxed

despite the insanity on the road,

this is home

Every time I step in this door

I feel 17

shouldn't I be getting ready

for class?

September leaves

cooler weather

Sunshine golden

Everything brings me home

The realization that

This might be the last trip I have

to see this autumn falling

here is bittersweet 

There's so much to be grateful for

I will count them all

Thank God for home

& all the beauty of fall

Today is Something Good

Today, despite my body's insistence that it heal slower than I'd like and my right ear's insistence in feeling mildly achy, has been beautiful.

Today, I ate peanut M&M's and they didn't make my stomach feel terrible.

Today, I found the water bottle I accidently (and partially due to lazy/tiredness didn't return to retrieve before) left at work in the exact spot I left it.

Today, I was paid today (not much, but something that will keep me afloat for a little bit longer).

Today, I paid my cell bill and realized I still have some money to start putting toward doctor bills.

Today, I spent a lot of time this afternoon watching the first season of SNL with my brother, Forrest today which gave me a lot to laugh at.

Today, I was told that my crush on Chevy Chase was perfectly reasonable.

Today, I got to spend some actual time reading a book that, despite being a dating book (The Ten Commandments of Dating by Ben Young & Dr. Samuel Adams), is actually causing me to look at my own outlook on life and start working toward real and healthy change.

Today, Jordan told me he has a new low horse named Cloudy O'Sanchez (I told you I would use it, and this isn't the end).

Today, I sang along to a mix I made myself to help get over someone, and found that it feels a lot more empowering and hopeful than it did at the beginning because now I can see that I'm actually healed up and heading forward.

Today, a box was delivered to my house (via my wonderful sister Amanda) full of love from some of my favorite Georgians.  The box included a shark hat Marcus and Regina found on their honeymoon, a book of devotions, a giftcard to Starbucks (YES!), eye shadow, sweet notes from people I love, an awesome new blanket, the bouquet I was supposed to carry for Marcus and Regina's wedding (which is now being displayed on my dresser right next the the bouquet I carried in Amber and Jake's wedding), and a sweet tote bag.  I feel so loved.

Today, I found out my wonderful Nikky, her sweet husband and my stud of a nephew made it back safely from their month-long trip to China.  I have missed them more than words can say.

Today, Amber gave me the recipe she used to make pumpkin pie smoothies, and I am not intending to make them in the incredibly near future.

Today, I bought pie crusts so that I can use this great fall weather to get some baking done.

Today, my mom came home from work and handed me to my own copies of both "Fletch" and "Sense & Sensibility."  They're on VHS, but I can work this that.  I'm excited.

Today, my mom also came home from work bearing the October Real Simple and "The North Avenue Irregulars" DVD which the library got for me through interlibrary loan (I love interlibrary loan, what a wonderful program).

Today, I spent a lot of time hearing our wonderful heater going on and off.  I do so enjoy the weather getting cooler and fall settling in.

Today has been beautiful and it has been easy to see God at work.  I hope your today has been something great for you.

I'm Sorry Arkansas, But It's Unavoidable.

The Dangling Earring Principle

This morning as I got ready to go to work I realized I wanted to wear dangling earrings.

To the average woman this might not seem like a weird thing, but I really don't ever wear dangling earrings. It's not that I don't like them. On the contrary, I love dangling earrings. I think they look beautiful and have always envied women that wore them on a regular basis, but I've always felt like they were outside of my realm. That I would look silly wearing them.

This morning I realized that dangling earrings are just like hats: you have to have the confidence in order to pull them off. People really only look silly wearing a hat or dangling earrings or a giant necklace, whatever, when they feel like they look silly. I use to think I looked silly wearing baseball caps (and maybe some people still think I do), but I decided that I liked them and I was going to wear them no matter what. I've been happily wearing my Boston Red Sox cap ever since, and I don't feel silly wearing it. Actually there's a good portion of the time I feel strange for not wearing it.

I went into my room this morning and rummaged through my things and located a pair of earrings I've never worn before. In the past I never would have worn them because they're about and inch and a half long and big enough that you can't miss them. They're gold and have deep blue beads and what looks to be an old Greek coin dangling. I love them. I found them in a store several months back and never had the courage to wear them, so I put them away. Just the other night I found them again, and I was thrilled.

I wore them to work this morning, and though I was afraid someone would point to them and call me a fraud, nothing happened. In fact, it didn't take long before I forgot I was wearing them at all. They just felt like they should be there, and I felt a little extra boost of confidence all day. Like I was more of the beautiful girl I am or something. It may sound cheesy, but it really worked.

Maybe this will expand and I'll find myself a little more confidence in other areas too.

They look great, by the way. I'm going to have to wear them more often.