You, Me, & Jimmy Fallon

Happy Valentine's Day.

Tonight I sat on the couch and watched about 4 straight hours of comedy with my folks. Was this a Valentine's Day I'll remember? I hope so. 

I still don't know who I am, but sometimes when I laugh this hard, I am reminded great things are worth the wait. 

It might sound ridiculous, but this really hit home tonight while we were watching Fallontine's Day (yep, Jimmy Fallon's second anniversary special). My folks and I were talking about what's so great about Jimmy. He's funny, plays multiple instruments, is kind, loves children and animals, can make anyone smile, writes thank you notes, does dead on impressions, and loves ridiculous games. He is so talented with such weird and delightful skills. 

All I could think was that he was born for this. He was truly created to bring others joy. I wonder if he really realized it was possible to take all those skills and use them like he does now. It had to be mind blowing when he realized he was exactly where he needed to be. 

I've spent so much time lately thinking about just that. Thinking about how my skill set is eclectic and I'm not sure how to best utilize it for the greater good, but Jimmy Fallon reminds me that no matter how random or weird your skills and passions are, it will all come together. 

Just because I'm not the world's most beautiful women and I can't speak a second language or play a guitar doesn't mean I'm not fascinating or worthwhile. 

You know what I'm great at? Writing thank you notes and postcards and handwritten letters. I make delicious pie and beer bread. I can quote movies and figure out where you've seen that random actor before. I give truly unique wedding gifts and make mix CDs. I am a wonder. 

You are a wonder too. 

Tonight I'm praying that we truly learn to love and appreciate ourselves, and our gifts, so that we can be healthier, happier, better, and brighter lights. We'll find our way. 

Night and, again, happy Valentine's Day!

Still Small Voice

Over the years, I have realized that God often has a person teach the exact thing that they themselves need to be learning.

A couple weeks back, the woman I help teach Sunday School with asked if I wanted to teach the weekend before Valentine's Day.  I could do that lesson, she said, because I always liked doing the "holiday" lessons.  This is true, I do love teaching the lessons and Thanksgiving (especially Thanksgiving), Christmas, Easter, and anything else I deem holiday worthy.  I agreed immediately.  Poor Earlene teaches just about every week because, to be honest, I really didn't want to be teaching Sunday School at this point.  I teach whenever she asks, but otherwise, I am content to just be in the class and help with whatever I can.

I started thinking about this lesson immediately.  I thought about I Corinthians 13, the love chapter.  I like that passage, but I don't think it's practical to teach out of this when you're dealing with 4th & 5th graders.  It doesn't have the kind of application I was looking for.

Instead I turned to a passage that has been on my heart nearly constantly for over a year now, Romans 12:9-21.  There's so much good there, and it tells you how you can show love.  You can't be evil to someone just because they've been evil to you, you need to practice hospitality, honor others above yourself, you shouldn't be concerned with peoples' status in life, rejoice with those who rejoice, mourn with those who mourn, do good to your fellow believers and help those who are in need.  And maybe most importantly:

"Do not be overcome by evil but overcome evil with good." - Romans 12:21

I've been thinking about this passage all week, and as I was reading it this morning, I realized I wasn't living this. 

I've been jealous of people when I should be rejoicing with them.
I haven't been taking care of the needs of the people around me.
I haven't been holding people in honor above myself.
I haven't been showing brotherly love.
I have been looking to avenge instead of leaving that in God's hands.
And I definitely haven't been blessing those who curse me.

God was calling me out.  He is calling me out.  I can't promise that I'm going to suddenly change and be something perfect, no where close.  I can, on the other hand, say that I am going to be working harder.  Working to put God back into the center of my life, into the core of who I am.  I want God to radiate through me.  If God is love, I want to have Him glittering through everything that I do. 

So how the heck do I do this?  Well, I am started today by apologizing to a friend I have been feeling frustrated with.  I gave him a much needed explanation for my behavior, and also apologized for a grouch instead of rejoicing with him in the joy of where his life is taking him.  I have been a coward, a jerk, and afraid of change.  Afraid for myself and the changes in my life instead of helping expand his joy.  It was selfish of me to be like this, and I am tired of this.  I know God is too, so between the two of us, I am going to work on healing that relationship and moving on toward something better.

I will be better.  Every single day.

Swans vs. Weasels

(Pictures of some of the beautiful cookies I made for Valentine's Day this year)

I realized a few moments ago that I never shared with my gentle (or not-so-gentle) readers my Valentine's Day & Anti-Valentine's Day play lists for the year. For quite a few years now I have been trying to make these mixes every year for Nikky, and they've become a tradition that I truly enjoy. It allows me to look over the songs I love and find new things to adore. It also allows me to express my personal feelings on love in both good and bad directions. These mixes tend to make me happy. So, for your enjoyment, here are the play lists:

Broken Hearts & Rabid Weasels, Anti-Valentine's Mix 2011:

1. Wrong Number Message to Terrence's Phone - Christie
2. Soundtrack - The Damnwells
3. Overkill - Colin Hay
4. Over Thinking [Acoustic] - Relient K
5. Possibility - Lykke Li
6. Kiss with a Fist - Florence & the Machine
7. Always be my Baby - Mariah Carey
8. Cath... - Death Cab for Cutie
9. Love Drunk - Boys Like Girls
10. Grenade - Bruno Mars
11. Gone - Nsync
12. I Miss You - Blink-182
13. Keep Your Hands Off Her - The Black Keys
14. Promiscuous - Nelly Furtado feat. Timbaland
15. Toxic - Britney Spears
16. Make Me Wanna Die - The Pretty Reckless
17. How's It Gonna Be - Third Eye Blind
18. Jude Law and a Semester Abroad - Brand New
19. Dancing in the Dark - Bruce Springsteen
20. Whatya Want from Me - Adam Lambert
21. I Need You - Relient K

Swans at Sunset, Valentine's Day Mix 2011:

1. If You Believe Me - Relient K
2. Teenage Dream - Katy Perry
3. Good For You - Third Eye Blind
4. Can't Get Enough of Your Love, Babe - Barry White
5. Just the Way You Are - Bruno Mars
6. If It's Love - Train
7. Too Busy Thinking About my Baby - Marvin Gaye
8. Hate that I Love You - Rihanna
9. Father Figure - George Michael
10. In Your Eyes - Peter Gabriel
11. Savannah - Relient K
12. How He Loves - David Crowder Band
13. Lucky - Jason Mraz feat. Colbie Caillat
14. The Only Exception - Paramore
15. Two is Better than One - Boys Like Girls feat. Taylor Swift
16. Love Never Fails - Brandon Heath
17. I Believe in You [Acoustic Version] - Tyler Hilton
18. Call me When You Get This - Corinne Bailey Rae
19. Storybook Love - Willy DeVille

I realize the Anti-Valentine's Mix probably has some rather unexpected stuff on it. I typically avoid Britney Spears and Mariah Carey for instance, but hey, sometimes those songs work just fine. Feel free to enjoy them.

And Nikky, your copies are in your box. You'll get them soon enough!