All the Words that I Wanted to Sing Got Replaced with a Wedding Ring...

He is jealous for me. Loves like a hurricane. I am a tree, bending beneath the weight of his wind & mercy.  When all of the sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory and I realize just how beautiful You are and how great Your affections are for me.

David Crowder*Band totally speaks my heart.

Today I am grateful for love like a hurricane that bends but doesn't break me but instead points out to me that I am loved by the Creator of the Universe.  I need His love so desperately today.

There is a great Matthew Mayfield song called "Fire Escape" which I believe I have mentioned in other posts, and the song ends with him saying, "All the words that I wanted to sing got replaced with a wedding ring."  I have had that song playing in the back of my mind for ages and ages now  with the hopes that this wouldn't be my song.  This song wouldn't be always playing in the back of my mind.  Today it finally becomes mine.

by Andre Jordan

All the words that I wanted to sing...they were replaced with an engagement ring.  And God only knows how long they'll be replaced with wedding rings and vows.

"Fire Escape" won't always be my song.  One of these days it will fade and I'll be able to have something else echoing with joy through the back of my mind.  For tonight though, I will let myself mourn the loss of a best friend who chose a path none of us expected, who chose to cut me out of his life virtually every way he could have, and who is now engaged.

R.S.B, my dear friend, my sunshine and heart, I wish you happiness.  I pray that God blesses you, my dear.  That He gives you clarity of mind and heart so that you can make good decisions that will bring you love and bring you closer to Him daily.  If this woman truly brings you closer to God and brings out the best in you and your heart, than I ask that He would bless your relationship as well.  I just want you to be healthy and happy.  You are something good.  Really, you are.  Please never doubt that.  I love you.

And now, I think I will crank some better tunes, try to sleep, and keep my phone off for awhile.  Things will be better in the morning.

Papers.

(Burning by Andre Jordan, http://www.abeautifulrevolution.com/)

Favorite Things of This Very Moment (6:41 pm EST):

• Being done with my paper for tomorrow.
• Conversations with Sam (even when we're both a bit overloaded and he's a bit frustrated with life)
• Andre Jordan's beautiful work and words
• Cold peppermint tea
• Isaiah 65:17-25
• Christmas lights
• Easybib.com
• Nikky
• The following quote from Jordan: "I'm like MacGuyver. Where some people see owls, I see possibilities."

Orange, blue, pink, green, red, and then we start over again. I'm staring at my Christmas lights. I'm sure Jake is wondering why. He's sitting across the table staring at his computer trying to work on his sermon, but my erradic behavior probably isn't helping. Lucky for him, I have my headphones in so he doesn't have to listen to my endless iTunes shuffle of bizarrity jumping from The Beatle's song "Dancing with my Girl" to Muse's "MK Ultra" to "This Rhythm is Good for Heat" by This is Cinema and everything around and in between.

I've been working on a paper on the "Intriguing Bits of the Millennial Kingdom" since a little after 11 am this morning. I can't decide if that should shame me or give me hope. I put together a mini and rather vague outline of what I wanted and collected my sources along the way. There have been two main texts that I'm working out of: Isaiah 65:17-25 & Revelation 20:1-7. For years I have been interested in this particular topic, but I'd never really considered trying to pull my thoughts on it together. Lots of work.

The paper I'm actually really worried about though is my paper for Christian Ethics on Friday. I'm thinking I'm going to try to take on the topic of the ethics of homosexuality, but I'm not sure exactly how I'm going to go about doing this. That worries me a bit, but I think I'll find a way to pull together my thoughts and research in order to do just that.

I can do this.