(31)

Tonight poems don't rhyme
& I eat too much
(again)
& I talk myself out of drinking
(again)
the pain grows out of old injuries
but my heart turns up a blank slate
images flash across the screen
hopeful, but naive
none of these options
are really mine to choose
So I look over tonight
I cut my losses &
I head to bed
a new day's just beginning
of a battle
against myself
I need to see
the hand reaching
down for mine
because I'm not sure
if I can stand anymore
at least not without help
Please help me find both will & Word
I don't want this division in me
it's tearing apart my soul
Help me, Lord
take control

(16) Good Night

My toes & noes & fingers are chilled
but I'm not sad at all
ages now have been spent
too hot to sleep
twisting up sheets
sweating through dreams
nothing but nightmares

Finally cool air & rest
time for sleep & real dreams
blankets & cheerful things
Put away the computer & iPod screens
Now it's time for sleep

So sweet good nights
& hopes for dreams
wish on the stars
& sleepy things
good night, long day
good night

(15) Point Break(ing) Point

I am tired of feeling
like I'm too much
Stop looking at me like
I've lost my mind

I don't like the tears
or how my voice
cracks & strangles,
but words have to be said

I can't bottle this up anymore
because that dam's about to burst
years worth of tears unshed
& misdirected action
pain misplaced
disoriented social interaction

I've built up my walls
high & deep
so no one could ever see
the broken shatters of who I am
buried underneath

I need a light,
a boat, & a heart to
guide me

Please don't tell me
how to feel
or what I need to do
my heart doesn't cater to your whims
broken people (hearts) need love too

(14) Hand Please

Somedays it's hard to formulate words
Maybe things ran smoothly
but you run into the wall

The phone rings
unexpected things
bad news & you fall

Even when you know
it's slipping
you never know
the time

Sometimes we don't
get to say
our goodbyes

Tears are not my favorite
but sometimes they need to fall
I'm only human
suffering backlash from the Fall

Thankful for the bright light
& the party up ahead
knowing deaths a pause
but not the end

I don't have a lot
of answers
but I'll give you
my hand
I'll stand beside you
to through this
& to the end

So darkness hovers over
this weary night
but we still have stars
to guide us
even through this
our darkest night