Showing posts with label emotions. Show all posts
Showing posts with label emotions. Show all posts

Monday, September 9, 2013

(13) On Days Wishing I was Vulcan (Or at Least 1/2 Like Spock)

Sometimes I wish I were Vulcan
to be able to hold so much in check
to use logic,
not feelings,
to figure out
the next step

Instead I'm full-fledge human
wearing my heart upon my sleeve
tired of crying when I'm angry
tired of wanting what's outside my reach

I am trying to hold
the years together
despite my flawed attempts,
mistakes played on repeat
a Vulcan sensibility 
would save so much biting tongue & cheek

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

I'm Tired

I'm tired of being lonely.
I'm tired of being afraid.
I'm tired of being the guy everybody talks to;
The guy that people want to talk to and work with
And hang with.
I thought it was cause they liked me.
Turns out I was wrong.
They talk to me cause they know I'll listen,
And I'll be there to shelve out advice.
They work with me
Cause they know I'm on track and I'll get the job done.
They hand with me
Cause they're bored
And they know I'll be there when nobody else will.
I'm tired of being the nice guy
Everybody shits on.
I'm tired of being the friend
Who's never more than a friend.
I'm tired of seeing what I want
Walk out the door and I sit there helpless.
Now I have to live with the fact that she's going
Away to live her life and I can't do shit about it.
I'm tired of all this crap.
I wanna go to sleep.

-Jacob Zuniga

Monday, December 7, 2009

What the Strainer Caught

Favorite Things of this Very Moment (10:49 am CST):
  • "What the Strainer Caught" mix
  • Christmas lights
  • Powdered sugar snow that's coating everything outside
  • Clean water
  • Knowing people I love will be receiving special holiday surprises/greetings in the mail
  • Having my major errand of the morning completed
  • Writing real responses to emails
  • Having a new book of stamps sitting on the footstool just waiting for letters to be sent
  • The sounds of the heater mixed with Cake singing "I Will Survive"
  • That only my pinkies seem to get cold (Why is that?)
  • Chubby little squirrels who seem to be living for each and every moment while jumping through all the trees of the neighbor hood finding berries and whatnot to munch this fine December morning
  • Adjectives
My brain is a seething mass of thoughts and emotions completely incapable of slowing or holding still. I have felt, often lately, that I just can't contain them all. There's always something trying to escape. Maybe I just haven't done such a great job of expressing them lately. It just seems too much.

It becomes increasingly weird when you get to a point where you realize that your emotions or something deeper in you is making it impossible to think of anything but reaching over and grabbing someone's hand. When it takes all your will to hold your hands together...doesn't that seem a little bizarre. Especially when you are fine without this individual whenever you're away from them...

Sometimes I wonder if my brain really is wired differently from the average woman. Worries me a little bit at times, but I guess God made me this way for a reason, even if I don't understand it and it makes me wonder if I'm crazy.

Ha.

Luckily, this is the season of love, giving, charity, joy, magic: Christmas. The joy of Christ's birth and the overflow of generosity spills into every day. So much magic really does radiate through the Christmas season. I love the change that it brings over people. Even the hardest of hearts. It's hard to be a grouch during this lovely season of the year. Even a cynic melts into the romantic they truly are at heart in the month of December...Magic.

May this December bring you all the joy and magic the season can hold. May it overwhelm you in the very best sense of the word, and may it spill into the rest of the coming year.

And I'll leave you with this, What the Strainer Caught playlist (to express the overflow in my head):
  • Mixed Tape - Jack's Mannequin
  • Love Don't Live Here Anymore - Lady Antebellum
  • (You're the) Devil in Disguise - Elvis Presley
  • Friends - Band of Skulls
  • Hokis - Eve 6
  • Daria - Cake
  • Every Day is Exactly the Same - Nine Inch Nails
  • Papercut - Gym Class Heroes
  • Kiss Kiss - Chris Brown & T. Pain
  • Getaway - Train
  • Burning Man - Third Eye Blind
  • Islands in the Stream - Bee Gees (not a joke, Nik...haha..."What's that Pete?")
  • Wrong Turn - Jack Johnson
  • Breaking It Up - Lykke Li
  • Hey Mr. DJ (Keep Playin' This Song) - Backstreet Boys (don't you judge me...ha)
  • Oil and Water - Incubus (*sigh* Brandon Boyd *sigh*)
  • Back to You - John Mayer
  • If You Want My Love (Alternate Version) - Cheap Trick
  • I Will Survive - Cake (my favorite version of this song...ever)
  • Message in a Bottle - John Mayer (*smiles*)