(48) Funeral Plans

When I die, please make pie
have a party
dance all night
love each other
Don't slow down
Don't give in
Remember me
with unsweet tea
reread my letters
in every letter, every line
is an I love you

(18) Goodbyes Never Get Easier

Football & beer
maybe it covers for
the tired to fear
dehydrated from all these tears
Goodbye, we love you
we will not break
Hold us together
Keep us strong
help us live like
we know we should
with love,
with kindness,
& great good

(17) Hotel

Climb into bed
smile at the room
this bed is giant,
cheerful cocoon
long road of travel
come to an end
Finally finished
this bed, a new friend
closed eyes & cheer
drift in the dreams
give us hope
& far better scenes

I Still Believe

Favorite things about today (as of 3:35 pm CST):

• That Nikky is sleeping on my couch (which is good because otherwise she'd be listening to me trying to sing along with all the songs on my Sarah mix and my voice is so scratchy right now it's a bad idea...haha)
• Knowing Kayla will be here in less than an hour
• Ice cream maker balls
• That the visitation and funeral are over and that there are no more formal grieving functions I need to attend and perform
• Seeing my email full of loving notes and comments and my facebook wall covered with encouragement
• The Sarah (147:3) mix
• Pasta salad
• Getting huge hugs from Johnny (he's so huge and I just haven't seen him in sooo long)
• "I love you"
• Purses big enough to smuggle LOADS of Kleenex and a huge water bottle in
• David doing all the driving
• Hugs from: Mom, Jenni, Tim, Jimbo, Johnny, Lil, Carson, Kayla, David, Joel, Daddy, Christine, Bev, Liz, Gail, Heather, and so many others...
• Today is Friday
• Seeing Tim carrying drumsticks
• Hearing Jay and Tim play "Did you feel the mountains tremble?"
• Singing through the tears
• "Homecoming" by Kanye West feat. Chris Martin

It will get better.