(9) Solace in Your Happiness

Generosity & good fortune always overwhelm

My new silver shoes sparkle

& make me think of Dorothy's slippers

(they were only ruby in the movie)

There's no place like home

Then we find $20 in the parking lot

"Happy dinner on me,"

says The Universe

It's really the little things

We'll try the cinnamon pancakes on Monday

fir breakfast 

I'll make that cheesecake

a pie's on the way

Sure we'll drink when this is over

to cheer ourselves 

on how beautiful it was

(& I'll survive 2 weddings, not 1

& hopefully old ladies & friends

will minimize the number of times

I'm asked how I feel 

about not getting married

first)

And we'll figure out the car

Tonight we have a winning football team

we've cheered to victory,

Good beer,

& laughter

So glad you can find

solace in your happiness

Me too

Why can't you?

So the world is falling

& at war

So my car breaks down

& I'm not seeing anyone at all anymore

There's still so much good here

Be overwhelmed & grateful

for the beauty in each day

Search for it & find the good 

So...Thanks...

Thanksgiving Table

Thanksgiving has come and gone, but I still want to say thanks.

This year's Thanksgiving meal was pretty traditional and pretty quiet.  My youngest brother, Joel is home from college for the weekend, and my brother, David and his sweet girlfriend, Kelsey came over.  It was nice to have all three of the boys under one roof for an afternoon and to be helping Mom in the kitchen.  The meal was, as always, fantastic.

I will always be grateful for the family meals we have together.  We always end up having strange discussions ranging from politics to books to cats to cooking and everything in between.  These dinners have somehow become a place of peace for us.  We sit together, we laugh together, and we are truthful about what we think.  They're a safe haven.  I am thankful for this.  I am grateful to be a part of a family that actually gets along most of the time, and even when we don't, we never stop loving each other and showing we love each other.  I have no idea how I was so blessed to end up here, but I would never want it any other way.

So...thanks.

Thanksgiving in the Months of August & September

August and September 2012 will be a months I never forget.  The whole of my summer was pretty intense and wacky, but I have to say the end of this summer may be what sticks out most.

You've probably read some of the insanity that's gone on in my life for the past couple of months, but what I am learning to focus on are the ridiculous number of things and people and situations that God has blessed me through.  This is my Thanksgiving summer.  Truly, my thanksgiving summer.

So here's what I'm thankful for (in no particular order):

• My insanely supportive family who have done everything from visiting me in the hospital every evening I was there to making me tea to carrying things for me (which I'm still not allowed to do) to praying for me to making me laugh.  They're wonderful.
• Giant water bottles I got at the hospital.  They're huge and they keep everything cold for a long, long time.  I love it.
• Morgan Glawe.  Honestly, I can't thank her enough for her support, encouragement, book lending, gifts, and time.  Morgo, you make me happy.
• Amber, Kimmieboo, Heather, Hilary, and Regina.  For the prayer, support, laughter, and for Hil busting me out of the hospital to bring me home.
• My iPod (thanks, as always, Carson...this thing is fantastic and continues to survive so much).  It kept me sane several different nights at the hospital when the sounds and people in other rooms were too much for me to deal with anymore, and has been a wonderful thing to keep me sane here at home too.
• Jordan Durham.  For reminding me that God always works for the good, telling me that I won't always need reminders to be patient, making me laugh, and being one of the best friends I have ever had.
• The internet.  For allowing me to talk to Nikky even though she's been in China through most of the past month.  
• Nikky Wu.  My best friend, for praying for me even when she was half the world away, for making me one of the best care packages I have ever received, and for always being, well...the BEST.
• Kimzipan and Jay for bringing me the circle-a-word puzzle book, laughter, and magazine with Ryan Reynolds right there on the cover the night I got home from the second round of hospitalization (I am glad I have you in my life, and I'm glad you're together...it needed to be).
• Foods that are healthy and still taste good which make dealing with pancreatitis and gall stones much, much easier.
• My church families (IL, MI, OH, GA, MO, NB)...God continues to blow me away through your kindness, prayers, love, support, and generosity.
• Hope.  I would not be able to do any of this without God constantly showing me that their is always hope.
• Jake and Amber's continued love, support, and reminding me that I have a place to move into when I'm ready (and thanks for taking care of those couple boxes of books, I can't wait to live with them again).
• Amanda and Rich.  For all the prayer and kind words on top of the sweet care package full of tea and joy and socks.  It meant the world.
• Barf bags.
• The insane flexibility of my office in working with my terrible health and crazy number of doctor's appointments.  This is terrible for me, but it's been no picnic for them either.
• Having a fan next to my bed at night while here at home because I'm finding the sound gets me to sleep when nothing else seems to.
• Kevin Rogers.  He may not know it (he may never know it really), but he made the day of my surgery, and going down for my surgery so much less scary.  I know this wasn't an insanely terrifying surgery and it's fairly common, but with everything else that had gone wrong lately...his belief that my surgeon was a good guy, making me laugh, and telling me it was all going to go just fine...I believed it.  I am forever grateful.
• Texting.  I would have gone insane while in the hospital without it.  Well, without texting AND cable TV (the Travel and Food networks really are addictive).
• Books.  I find myself reading a lot lately.  Fact and fiction.  I am grateful for every writer ready and willing to put pen to paper and tell us how the story goes.  I have needed that a lot lately for my little mental vacations (special thanks to Jennifer Crusie and Bob Mayer for writing both Agnes & the Hitman and Don't Look Down.  Please collaborate on many more books so I will have new favorites to read and new reasons to laugh; I need them).
• Knowing I'm healing every day, even when I feel lousy.
• Feeling that I am truly growing closer to God each and every day of this and finding that it's all worthwhile because of that.

Mind you, this is a very abbreviated list, but it's a start.  I am so thankful.  I hope Thanksgiving is something I can keep going in October too.  Let's see where God takes all of this.

What are you thankful for?

There's Always Something to be Thankful For

Today, instead of doing my "Favorite things of this very moment" list, I'm just going to tell you what I'm thankful for. It won't include everything that I'm thankful for because that list would never end, but I'd like to tell you some of them.

So, with the spirit of thanksgiving dancing in my blood, here's a list of things that I am thankful for:

• Nikky: because she's my very best friend, she makes life easier, she understands my ramblings, my whining, my confusion, and my hysteria. She makes me laugh, and she lets me cry. It's impossible to feel too ashamed or embarrassed when she's around, and I'm rarely if ever afraid to say whatever I feel or think. She understands. I'm glad she's been so gracious about all the issues of our attempts to move (it will happen, but only God knows when. Sooner than later), and she introduced me to good Silk soy milk, RiffTrax, Chai, and many good books, songs, stories, movies, poems, and pictures. She's the other half of my soul (in a completely heterosexual way, of course. *smiles*). I love her. I am thankful.
• My family: because they're as crazy as I am, and despite how wishy-washy I am all too often, they're fair more patient with me than I deserve. They love me in spite of myself. I know they'll be there for me no matter what, and I love each of them for that. They make me crazy, but they also make me laugh so hard I'm in tears, and I think they know I love them more than I can say. I am thankful.
• Kayla: because she's the sister I never had. She is one of the kindest people on earth, and I adore her for that. Her exceeding thoughtfulness, her laughter, smile, words of encouragement, and willingness to lend a hand will always make her something extra special. I love her very much. I am thankful.
• Ben: because he stuck with me through my darkest times, and never turned me away. Even when I was a brat, he still cared about me. He's always been there for me, and I truly hope that we are always able to be the great friends that we are. And because he read the Twilight series in exchange for my reading Harry Potter. Ha. :)
• Jay: because...he lets me be what I need to be. He doesn't question my sanity, even when I do, and he believes in me when I don't deserve it. He's shown me grace and respect even when I'm acting like a lunatic, and has called me one of his very best friends even when our relationship was strained and my heart was breaking. He's one of the most talented musicians I know, and the girl that gets him will be lucky beyond her wildest dreams. Because he believes I am courageous and true of heart and sees good in me that I struggle to see. Because he's a little in love with Edward himself, even though he's one of the straightest guys I've ever met. :) But mostly because he makes me laugh, allows me to be awkward, is incredibly beautiful, and is truly wonderful.
• Fresh blueberries: because, despite how trivial it sounds, they're fantastical, and because I'm currently eating a bunch of them in some vanilla yogurt (forcing myself to attempt to eat some kind of food in the morning can be interesting, but this is quite lovely).
• Financial Peace University: because the principles I learned while taking that course helped me to value saving money more than I ever have. I have money put aside, and this makes life much easier as I still haven't found a new job, and my lay-off date looms ever closer. Even in uncertainty, I have some hope because I have money saved up...it'll take me a little while to burn through it. And I'm not too worried just yet.
• Stovetop Savory Herb Stuffing: because my mom makes it every year at Thanksgiving, and it's delicious. Something out of a box isn't supposed to taste nearly that good. :)
• Warm clothes
• Chocolate chip cookies (or even better, chocolate chunk and butterscotch chip cookies, which I intend to make a big batch of within the next few days...mmm...)
• Korean pop songs: because they make me smile, I can understand half the words, and the music videos are full of insane dance moves (which I want to learn) and great subtitles.
• Warm showers: because there are few things in life more soothing or better able to warm you back up
• Good books: because they can transport you out of the mundane or frustrating parts of your day and make you feel a deep connection with the characters and the people around you. Plus they can really inspire you and give you hope or make you laugh...
• David having his own place: because I can see how excited, happy and proud he is to be able to support himself and have his own life. I'm proud of him for being so brave, and hope that he'll be blessed in all of this.
• My faith: because it keeps me going and gives me hope when I feel all is lost. God's going to take care of me, I just need to do what I can, all that I can, and leave everything else to Him.
• And Jordan: because he inspires me and makes me smile.

Like I said this is a very small portion of an ever-growing list, but I wanted to share. I hope you find many, many things to be thankful for both big and small.

Happy Thanksgiving, with all my love.