Day 12: Benadryl

Dear Benadryl,

Thank you. 

Thank you for reducing/reversing allergic reactions to wherever it was that made me ridiculously itchy and miserable tonight. It looks like you'll allow me some sleep after all. 

Thank you thank you thank you. 

Love,

Jaymin

Day 11: Frorrest

Dear Forrest,

Thank you. 

Little brother, I adore you. I know we don't always talk as much as we should and that I'm awful about checking my email sometimes, but I think you should know I love you. 

Thank you for always having something new and weird to tell me. It may not seem like much, but when you tell me about the incredibly stupid parrot in New Zealand or about how if a Komodo dragon bites you that your toast, I love it. Your humor, no matter how subtle or dry, always cheers me up. 

Thank you also for your willingness to share what you are working on. Your stories are wonderful and so full of unexpected humor that they always take me by surprise. I know you don't always believe it, but I see great things in your future if you keep working like this. You've got such a gift. Plus, your writing and constant work really inspire me to keep writing. I need that, so thank you. 

Thanks for just being you, kid. I love you. I'm so proud of you and so incredibly proud to be your sister. 

Love,

Jaymin

Day 10: Daddy

(Note to my readers: sorry this is a day late. I will try to keep that from happening again. Here's what should've been yesterday's post)

Dear Daddy,

Thank you. 

Today you, Mom, Joel and I drove all over creation. It seemed that way at least. I am always amazed at how you and Mom can drive for hours without ever being completely certain of where you are without it ever bothering you. I wonder sometimes if this just is one of the benefits of marrying your best friend. You always seem capable of handling anything so long as you're together, and it seems you can find joy in the oddest situations based on this same principle. Maybe someday I'll have a better line on that, but, for now, I'm just grateful to have a good example of what a happy marriage can be. 

Thank you, Dad, for proving that good men still exist. Thank you for raising sons that are growing into good men in their own right. Thank you for being a loving husband who constantly strives to show his wife he loves her and that he sees how beautiful she is. Thank you for loving me even when I feel like I'm a total screw up. Thank you for telling me you're proud of me and for encouraging me on my pursuits. 

Thank you for being a godly example and for just living your faith on a daily basis. I know it's not always easy to do, but I am always told by anyone that knows you that you are a wonderful man and you've helped them with something (big or small) and it meant so much. I am so proud to be your daughter. I love you. 

Thank you. 

Love,

Jaymin

Day 9: Kayla

Dear Kayla,

Thank you.

I just want you to know that I love you.  Tonight I was working on a project for someone.  A mix cd.

This naturally made me think of you.  How many mix cds have we made over the years?  I know that at this point they're probably pretty passe to most people.  I know everyone just likes to share playlists or whatever, but I still can't think of much that makes me happier than having someone hand me a mix cd.  What better way to express your heart or your brain or your soul or your feelings to another human being that to sing them a letter?  Because that's all a good mix is.  It's a letter.  A story.  A way to say those things we struggle so hard to say sometimes.

You know all of this though.  You know my theories about mix cds (and letters and so much else).

Kay, we may have changed a lot over the years, but I'm glad our friendship still holds true.  I am still grateful for every hug, every bit of laughter, the cards, the whispered conversations in church, the listening ear, and the advice.  You have always cheered me on and never failed to give me hope and kindness when I needed it most.

I'm sure at times you think I've gone off the deep end with all my moves and all the weird plans/dreams that I talk about (whether or not I ever manage to pursue them), but you still love me.  I worry sometimes (okay, a lot of the times) that I'm going to turn into that flaky friend that everyone kinda snickers about because they're always the one who says they're going to move to China or go back to school or teach themselves to quilt but never do.  That person with the never-ending to-do list of dreams that never manages to live.  I am scared to death that I will be that person, and sometimes I worry that's how everyone is beginning to see me (which would be fair given the track record I've had the past few years...please, I'd love more failures...), but you still make me believe that I have a future.  I don't think I'll ever have words to express how much I appreciate your love and belief and kindness.

Kayla, you are one of the kindest people I've ever met.  I've, as of yet, never met a person who could say a bad word about you or who didn't love you immediately.  And how could it be any other way?  Everyone should be so blessed as to have a friend like you.  I love you, Kay.  Thank you for loving me and for being my sister and one of my best friends through all the insanity and grief and laughter over the years.  God really blessed me when he brought me you.

Thank you.

Love,
Jaymin

Day 8: Lavendar Oil

Dear Lavendar Oil,

Thank you. 

Considering the frequent bouts of insomnia, finding something that seems to actually work to get me to sleep feels like a miracle. Especially if it doesn't require medication. Plus, you smell great. Honestly, I've slept better this week than I knew was possible. 

Thank you. 

Love,

Jaymin

Day 7: Calle

Dear Calle,

Thank you. 

I don't know if I ever told you this before (or anyone really), but I was suicidal off and on the whole spring I lived in South Carolina. I've fought depression since I was about 13, but I'd never been that low. It wasn't even that I wanted to kill myself...I just didn't want to exist. I didn't want to feel ashamed of the total failure of CofC. I didn't want to feel the gnawing ache of loneliness or feel heartbroken and jealous that the man I thought I'd marry was living nearby with his pregnant wife. I was, undoubtedly, a train wreck of a girl. The reason I tell you this is that you were one of the reasons I held on tight. 

Calle, I think you kinda saved my life. 

Little sister, words cannot express the comfort I found in your presence and laughter and the hours we spent watching NetFlix (and Dyson's handmade vests...delightful). You were what helped keep me going because I knew I was able to do good things for you like picking you up from school whenever your mom managed to forget or talking walks or listening when you needed advice. Taking care of you in little ways and growing our friendship helped me remember how much hope is left in the world. 

God only knows what I'd have done without you. You have been such a huge blessing. 

Thank you for continuing to challenge me, pray for me, laugh with me, confide in me, and listening to me. God has blessed me so much through you, Cal. I love you so much. 

Thank you. 

Love,

Jaymin

Day 6: Mulligan

Dear Mulligan,

Thank you. 

I know you're a cat, and, to the best of my knowledge, don't read my blog, but even so I wanted to write this. 

You, my ridiculous girl, were one of the few good things to come out of my time in South Carolina (like my friendship with Calle, watching Supernatural with Evan, and realizing snails are Canadian with Jordan). I really hadn't planned for a cat, but it only took being handed a tiny black and white bundle of purring charm to rope me in. Having you curl up on my chest to sleep was the only thing keeping me alive some nights. You were a tiny, furry gift from God. 

Thank you for loving me in the weird wonderful way you do, little stalker baby. Even though you make me a little crazy when you start tripping me and talking so loud when I get up for work, I love you. There's something quiet and brilliant about having someone loving you enough to make sure they're up at dawn when you gotta leave for work that makes you feel just a little better about the day. 

Thanks, Mull. 

Love,

Jaymin