A Week in Review: It Wasn't THAT Bad! No, Really!

I have been a major downer this week, and I want to apologize for that.  Until yesterday, the week had been one grey, rainy, cold, colorless week.  Or at least that was how I was feeling about the whole thing. 

So let's refocus, shall we?  Instead of whining anymore, I would like to tell you about the AWESOME of my week.

Pie... 

Starting with PIE!  Yes, this week I made pie.  Two of them actually.  The one pictured here was the one I made for my family.  It was a bit of an experiment (as many of mine are anymore).  I put blueberry and cherry pie filling in it, but then I added fresh pear and some dried cranberries.  I realize that probably sounds really, really odd, but the combo was actually really perfect.  We ate this delightful pie while drinking some tasty decaf on Wednesday night.  I made this pie and a second one that was just plain cherry.  The cherry pie actually went to the church on Thursday night.  Autumn on Parade is this weekend and I had agreed to make a pie for the church's booth.  But we at this one here at home, partially because I needed to make pie, but also partially to celebrate the fact my mom had a successful first day run of "Quilters" which is the musical she is currently in through PAG here in town.  

Mom is the sweet, sweet Prairie fire there in the middle!

My father and I actually went to see "Quilters" last night.  I really hadn't wanted to see this musical.  That may sound a little rude or harsh or mean, but one of Mom's monologues was the most depressing bit of a musical I have ever heard, and I have seen Les Miserables...  Honestly, she has this monologue about this little girl's 7th birthday and her mom is already dead, but then during the monologue both the girl's dad AND sister die.  It's 30 below, she's 7, it's her birthday, she becomes an orphan, and she's alone in this dirt house on the prairie.  Honestly.  *shudders*  That one is awful, but the rest of the musical was great.  I mean, Mom did a wonderful job with her monologue, but the rest of the musical was, for the most part, far more upbeat, and it was often really funny.  That I really didn't expect.  The funny was a glorious touch.  If you get a chance at some point, Quilters is a musical well worth watching.  Just make sure you take Kleenex.  

Handsome Rob (erta?)

Ah yes, and then there was one more surprise addition to the week.  On Monday night, Joel was taking stuff out to the garage, and when he came back in he said there was a kitten in the garage.  Sure enough, out in the rain was an adorable little kitten.  I named it Handsome Rob even though we are now pretty sure it's a girl.  This cat is adorable and sweet, but sadly we just don't have the money to take her to the vet for her shots so we can keep her.  We are currently feeding her, and she is currently living on our porch.  We're working on finding her a good home where people will love her as much as we are all coming too.  So...*hint, hint,* if you want an adorable, cuddly, purring kitten of your very own, please let me know.  I would love to see Handsome Rob(erta) to a good home.  The good thing is, the vet we take our cats to told us that if we can't find her a home by the end of next week, he will take her in and find her a good home.  This definitely makes me feel better.  I just want this little one to be loved.  She's so sweet.

Anyway, today is sunny and glorious, and my mood and brain have finally gone back to where they need to be.  Sure...life isn't perfect, but it never will be.  But, I can smile because I got to sleep in this morning, my mom made chocolate chip banana muffins, I am listening to Jamie Cullum sing to me about how weird your 20's are (AMEN!), and in a few hours I will be having dinner with my friend Morgan and some of her friends for her birthday.

Life is going to be just fine.  

Eulogy

I'll end this post with my favorites list. A little cheer might be needed. Eulogy

I have to admit I don't know what to say. I wish I was more eloquent. I wish I was somewhat better at saying how I really feel, but I'll try.

Yesterday morning, as I sat on the ottoman in front of my beautiful orange overstuffed armchair, I found myself wondering how exactly you let go of someone you love. It's not the first time I've asked myself this question, and sadly, I know it won't be the last. I'm not sure I'll ever know the answer to this question, but I'll keep trying.

In the chair, laying on top of a pair of blankets and a set of towels, wrapped in a third, was Cally. My beautiful 15 year old cat. Her once clear green eyes cloudy from cataracts she's had to deal with for the past year or two, her body so thin I could feel each vertebrae down her spine and could, with minimal effort, count her ribs...

When I woke up yesterday morning, I knew my life would be changing, and this time not for the better. I knew I was waking up to say goodbye to a beloved member of my family. Cally was dying.

I have had pets die in the past, but none of them has been like Cally.

Cally was something special. Cally use to always know exactly when she was needed. If I was having a bad day, was hurt or upset or angry, she always would show up. I have no idea how she always managed to do this, but she would always choose the moment when I didn't think I could deal with it any longer to show up. She would then rub up against my leg or arm. She'd curl up on my lap or next to me and purr. Few things in the world are more soothing than a purring cat. She'd stay with me until I had calmed myself down.

Cally also was incredibly well behaved. Where Mira will steal my yarn while I'm working on something, Cally would just curl up on my lap or next to me and watch. She learned that she could play with the yarn as long as she didn't slobber on it (something I'm still trying to teach Mira, gross). She, after training early on, never jumped on the table.

Cally loved to eat cinnamon toast. She also like pound cake. She once ate part of a grape sucker which was totally bizarre. I shared powdered sugar donuts with her occasionally, and she loved to lick the top layer of Nilla Wafers off (yes, they do have layers). Occasionally she'd drink my tea or water (mind you, I wouldn't after that...sheesh). She loved to lick the ice off windows or the condensation off cups. What I really never understood was why she drank out of faucets. She hated the bathtub, but she'd drink out of the bath faucet or the bathroom sink.

I use to love when she'd sit with me while I was using sidewalk chalk. The colors would rub off on her feet and fur, and she'd leave green and pink footprints up the sidewalk and on the carpet of the front porch.

She use to love it when I'd rub her tummy. She rarely let anyone else rub her tummy, but I always could. Usually by the end though we were wrestling. She'd be kicking at my hands and I'd be teasing her.

Cally, as most cats do, really loved catnip. Once while on a trip I bought her this tin of fake mice called "Three Blind Mice." It came with 3 little fake mice that were furry and were stored in this tin of dried catnip. Cal always came running when she heard someone opening the tin. She was also the kind of cat that would roll around and enjoy the catnip, but she would never get grouchy. Just ridiculous. Kept me entertained every time.

Cally was my baby. I was the only one who could pick her up any time. I was the only one who could hold her on her back. She didn't like it when most people picked her up, but all I had to do was pick her up and she'd be purring.

She was a wonderful, beautiful, silly cat. I loved her very much, and I will miss her.

A lot.

So...goodbye, Cal. You were the best. A good girl, always. I love you.

Favorite things of this very moment (11:43 am CST, because I think we need some cheer now):

• Cinnamon Rum Pecan coffee
• Kindness of friends (Linda, Mom's boss at Dynamic got us stuff from the coffee shop because she felt bad about us losing Cal....far above and beyond the call of duty, and totally unexpected...she's a great lady)
• Having a game night to look forward to on Saturday
• Great old pictures
• Plants vs. Zombies (Nik, we have it. Joel bought it yesterday, so you'll have to put it on your laptop next time you're here...seriously...it's the perfect mind numbing activity for a bad day...I was up late playing it last night...helped a lot)
• Ellipses... *winks*
• Fall sunshine
• Dave Barry (everyone needs something to laugh with)

Cally

Favorite things of this very moment (8:41 am CST):

• Phil Keaggy's Accoustic Sketches album
• Bright colored leaves on this ever so grey morning
• Having a guy friend that sews (the thought just makes me smile)
• Coffee.
• Homemade apple pie for breakfast
• My parents

There's nothing particularly profound floating around in my head this morning, but I felt drawn to say something. It's a strange thing.

The morning is grey. I keep seeing the clouds brighten where the sun is struggling to break through, but it's not succeeding this morning. It's really too bad it can't make it through the clouds. It would make the day seem friendlier.

When I woke up this morning, I scooted away from my cat so I could get out of bed without moving her (she's 15 and not well, I don't like moving her when she's comfortable) and managed to clock my head, hard, against the headboard of my bed. Woke me up pretty quickly. I still prefer coffee to wake me up, but I'll keep in mind I can always accidently injure myself to wake up...ha.

It's hard watching my cat, Cally these days. I've had her for the past 15 years. I've loved her since the moment my dad handed her to me on Christmas morning all those years ago. Being as young as I am, I've had her for over half of my life, and it's hard to imagine her not being around to curl up on my lap when I'm hurt or upset. She's always been good at showing up exactly when I need her. Sometimes you just need someone to be around, and as silly as it may sound, Cally has been wonderful with that.

Now she spends more and more time asleep. She's old, so I can't fault her with that, but what bothers me is when she gets up and walks about 3 feet before curling up in a ball and resting for anywhere from 5 to 10 minutes before getting back up to continue towards her destination. She's happiest when she can be found sitting in a patch of sunshine. I wish we had some today. Knowing there's really nothing that can be done at this point makes me frustrated and incredibly sad. It's only a matter of time, and that hurts.

I am grateful that my parents decided to grant their crazy, shy 8 year old daughter's wish for a cat for Christmas all those years ago. Life would've been lonelier without Cal.

I guess when I started this I didn't know that I had something to say, but I'm glad I've had that opportunity after all.