Thirty

Happy birthday to me.

My brain is turning inside out with the realization that it's just after midnight, and I am now 30 years old.  What am I doing with this new day--this new year?  Well, I'm listening to Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory on RiffTrax playing as I write this.  Yep.  I lead an exciting life.

In all honesty, I am having a really hard time processing the reality of being 30.  I know it won't sink for awhile, but hopefully I'll make this new year a good one.

I think my birthday gift to myself with be going back to school.  I don't know the exact when and how, so don't ask.  I just think I need to make myself do it.  I'm getting stagnant living the life I'm currently in.  I am a shark, I gotta keep swimming or I'll die.

Outside of that, I have no idea.  I am going to try to keep myself going to the gym, and maybe try to get myself a passport finally, but one thing at a time.


Maybe 30 doesn't have to be scary.  Or maybe it is meant to be scary and this is just my year to step up and prove to myself that I am the courageous one I was once said to be. God's got this, and hopefully I'll be walking with him instead of being my typically stubborn, frightened self running ahead or trying to run a different route entirely.

Welcome to the new year, Jaymin Louise. Let's make it a good one.

This is the New Year, a New Beginning

I have given quite a bit of thought to New Year's Resolutions in the past week or so, and I have realized, once again, that I have much I still want to accomplish or enjoy.  As a result, I have come up with a new list of changes/new trials/ideas that I will be trying to implement this year.

For the Coming Year (in no particular order):

• I will cut back on impulse buying.  I still have some medical bills to pay off, a move to consider, a new job to find, and a bigger life to start living.
• I will try to cook more.  I do quite a bit of baking already, but I was given a pair of excellent cookbooks by my brother, David and his fantastic girlfriend, Kelsey for Christmas, and I'd like to actually make myself real meals.  I know this would be cheaper and healthier for me as well.  It's worth a try.
• I will save money out of every paycheck.  I've been terrible about preparing for my future/saving, and it's time to really get that underway.  If I could get this going, I would actually have money put aside when the next storm comes.
• I will try to lose 2 lbs or more each month of the coming year.  It may not sound like much, but it would be a lot easier to see to the end of that goal each month than to set a huge and crazy goal.  This I can do.
• I will try and get the children's book I wrote this past year published.  And then I will write another.
• I will pay off all the medical bills I have accrued this past year, and the few I will have before the end of January.  This is doable.  I just have to plan it out and make it happen.
• I will start paying my father back.  I owe him money from when I was putting myself through school and had some insane car problems.  My goal for this over all is to pay him back completely by the time I am 30.  It's a few years away yet, I know I can make this happen.
• I will practice the ukulele. I was given one for Christmas this year which is a life-long dream come true, and so I am determined that I truly will learn to play.
• I will try harder to get along with my body. I have put my body through a lot this year, and it's done the same.  I would very much like for us to be on the same page and getting along finally.  I think after all these years, we both deserve a little compassion and to be better taken care of.
• I will practice Radical Honesty on a more regular-esque basis.
• I will give more toasts.  Because I can.
• Do something nice for someone else every day.

These goals will not be very easy for me, but I do believe I can make them happen.  I also believe they will allow me to be a healthier, happier person in this new year.  I'd like to have a go at a better life.

I suppose I should also update my bucket list, so here goes:

1. Love and be loved by a good man.
2. Finish reading all partially read books.
3. Send someone a telegram via telegramstop.com
4. Give more away.
5. Visit the ocean.
6. Make Eric Callaway his long ago promised Green blanket.
7. Write a long letter to the pope.
8. Buy a sarong.
9. Figure out what to do with the video camera.
10. Pay back my father.
11. Write my own obituary.
12. Wine and dine someone who deserves it.
13. Have a completed emergency fund.
14. Watch all of my RiffTrax at least once.
15. Become financially independent.
16. Learn to make hats.
17. Be me. And love being me.

2012 To-Do (Again, kudos Amy! You've Got the BEST Ideas)

2012 To-Do:

1.       Trust God.

2.      Love and be loved by a good man.

3.       Finish reading all partially read books.

4.      Read and return all borrowed books.

5.       Finish going through my books and giving away/selling as many as possible.

6.      Send someone a telegram via telegramstop.com.

7.       Do something nice for someone else every day.

8.      Give more away.

9.      Visit the ocean.

10.   Get a massage.  Or two.  Or three.  Or…you know, several.  J

11.   Less bad words, more positive statements.

12.   Write a letter or note to someone every day.  Be it a thank you or a note of encouragement or a bit of Radical Honesty; it must be something good.

13.   Make Eric Callaway his long ago promised Green blanket.

14.   Try Bailey’s.

15.   Live on just bread and water for 3 days.

16.   Write a long letter to the pope.

17.    Write a letter to a famous person I admire.

18.   Finish Nikky & Yan’s book and give it to them.

19.   Give more toasts.

20.  Buy a sarong.

21.   Figure out what to do with video camera (including getting the actual video from the camera onto my computer…and possibly onto YouTube…ha).

22.  Pay Dad at least half of what I owe.

23.   Write my own obituary.

24.  Wine and dine someone who deserves it.

25.   Take EGWTBTE pictures.

26.  Have a completed emergency fund.

27.   Write and send a letter to Santa Claus.

28.  Lose some weight so that when I’m called upon to do it, I can look good in a bridesmaid’s dress.

29.  Practice radical honesty on a more regular-esque basis

30.   Watch all RiffTrax at least once.

31.   See the new Pirates! movie with Joel.

32.   Learn to do video with my camera.

33.   Take better care of my hands.

34.   Finish organizing quotes.

35.   Try making more new recipes.

36.   Excersize (at minimum) 3 times a week.

37.    Visit Heather in Chicago.

38.   Throw Amber two super sweet bachelorette parties with Miss Emily.

39.   Acquire Munchkin.

40.  Learn to make granny squares.

41.   Argue and deal with confrontation (and confront, if necessary) in a biblical way.

42.  Take pictures.  At least one every single day.

43.   Downsize.

44.  Make Amber & Jake an EPIC wedding box.

45.   Become financially independent.

46.  Buy Cynthia, Nikky, Regina, Amber, Traci, Heather, Jordan, Sam & Kimmieboo copies of The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin.

47.   Make scarves to donate.

48.  Learn to make hats.

49.  Go through movies and see which ones can be given away.

50.   Be me. And love being me.

This is the New Year

It’s only 3:18 on a Sunday afternoon,
but I’m watching the sun slowly sink
Dead set in winter
the quiet broken by Band of Horses
singing to me of life and love and sadness

Time seem so long at the beginning
But it’s never as long as it seems
The gifts you make sometimes go ungiven
Did you take enough pictures?
And I wonder.

This is the New Year.
Just like the song, just like the song
and I would love to have someone
to give the world
(and my world) to

It will be full
Good books, laughter, tea
The wedding of friends and the birth of babies
It will change
and so will I