Twenty-Two

Favorite things of this very moment (3:29 pm CST):

• Multiple emails from Jay
• Getting birthday wishes
• Being able to use my sunglasses
• Being able to see more than 10 ft
• Coffee with vanilla soy milk, sugar, and cinnamon in it
• John Mayer (in all his various forms)
• Talking to Nikky and having her help me decide on which kind of Milano cookies would work best for my pie-ish-thing recipe
• Justin Masterman putting together a benefit concert for the Callaways (he is a wonder)
• New music
• Sweet/Sappy birthday cards
• Knowing Josh, Jen, Kyle, Angie, and Nathan will be here tomorrow night
• Creating bracelets out of pieces of yarn that are so pretty I can't find a reason to throw them away
• Contacts
• Pride & Prejudice by Jane Austin (in all it's print and media and take-off forms)
• Collin Firth
• Graph paper notebooks
• The "Twilight" movie trailer (http://www.imdb.com/video/trailer/vi2380464409/)

Today I am 22 years old. I do not feel 22. I feel about 13. I'm still awkward, I'm still socially inept, I'm still single, and I'm still living with my parents.

Perhaps I'm the female version of Wayne Campbell. It's too bad Nikky and I don't live next door to each other, we'd make a great Wayne & Garth pair. (Well, we do anyway, but having the entire state of Indiana between us makes it a little hard to function normally.)

Birthdays are a fickle thing. I like birthdays is some ways. I enjoy being surprised by people's thoughtfulness. I love cake (or pie or whatever substitute we use and stick candles in). I enjoy the well-wishes and the emails and the notes, but they still lack something.

I'm not good with the attention. I don't know what it is, maybe I feel I don't deserve it, or maybe I'm trying hard not to care about it because they never seem that special to me. I've had to share my birthday with a great deal of traveling, weddings, and tragedy over the past several years, not to mention having one of my best friends repeatedly forget my birthday and then always try to buy me off with some gift.

I just wish there was a nice balance. I don't like being fussed over, but I do like feeling special. I don't need anything extravagant, but it is nice to be remembered.

I guess in a lot of ways the attention I've always received on my birthday always seemed kind of fake, and fake is not something I'm real thrilled with.

Meh.

I feel guilty for even caring it's my birthday this year. I've got several close friends dealing with funerals for close family members this week, and one of my best friends is trying to recover from a broken heart. What is a birthday in comparison to their tragedies?

Again, I say unto you, meh.

And so, I appreciate that kindness of my friends, the gifts, the cards, the notes, and just how generally sweet everyone is. It means a lot, even if I sound like a grouch today. I'm not really, I've been having good things happen and indulging myself a little. Bought myself a little John Mayer Trio and got my eyes checked so I can use my contacts again. Sometimes I forget that I really do have lovely eyes. Muahaha.

Now, if only I could receive the magical powers to play match maker and to heal broken hearts for my birthday. Wouldn't that be lovely? Best birthday gifts ever if I could make everyone around me happy. I think that would make me happy too.

Maybe somewhere, deep down, I am growing up. I guess this is just the beginning of another year for me and we'll have to wait and see...

Good night.

Short and Sweet.

Favorite things of this very moment (2:19 pm):

• Mr. Heater (which is a propane heater that has the ability to burn one through one's jeans if one is not incredibly careful)
• That Aaron lights Mr. Heater for me (because if I tried it explosion and/or death would result for me and possibly any of the guys that happened to be nearby at the time)
• Literature Resource Center (online no less)
• Allergy medication that keeps me from feeling like I'm going to die
• My Fiji water bottle
• The wireless connection at work
• My laptop
• Fingerless gloves
• My beanie
• That first semester is almost over
• Walking up to pay for TGIFriday Sour Cream & Onion Potato skins and finding out they are on sale and getting to The Cheese Shop in time to buy a Blumer's Cream Soda and then getting back to the office to find out there are tangerines in the fridge...Perfect
• Accomplishing the 4 pages rough draft minimum...
  

Yep.

All You Need Is Love

Favorite things of this very moment (7:35 pm):

• Good mix cds
• Ohio State cups full of ice tea
• That the Colts won this afternoon
• Talking to Ben & Nate through IM
• Going to lunch with Jeff & the incredible tall, handsome blond man...
• Balcony seats for parades
• Accomplishing anything
• Having Monday off

This weekend has been lovely. I've had do deal with so many lousy things that honestly, having a weekend with no real responsibilities was been lovely. I didn't even work at the booth...I don't remember a time prior to now that I haven't worked there (well, outside my year at ABC). I needed some time.

Again, I have nothing brilliant to say. I wish I did.

Lunch today...glorious. Nothing but ludicrous comments, good food, and lots of laughs. *sigh* That could not have been better (well unless a certain boy had decided to confess his undying love for me, but that's the only real improvement we could have).

Patience is easily the most frustrating thing to have to learn, but I'm tough. God created me to be strong, but fragile, I am a woman, and though my life is hard at times, I really enjoy it. I just need to appreciate it and be willing to take risks when they need to be taken.

It can only get better.