(49) Expectations vs. Reality

I'm tired of building my life

around the hopes of somedays

I'm tired of waiting

for everyone else to make their decisions

so I can just keep trying to live my life

I'm tired of being disappointed

because every time I

get my hopes up --

even in little things --

it all comes crashing down

Is this growing up?

Realizing sometimes a dream

is just a dream

or that sometimes hope

is just a wish that isn't coming true...

I miss days of simple wishes

where expectations met reality

Please God bring those days back to me

or show me how to dream

& find the strength 

to make it my reality

I am an Idiot.

Favorite things of this very moment (7:14 pm CST):

• Korean Pop
• Taeyang (he is pure beauty)
• T.O.P. (his voice is magic)
• the box from Nikky...magic, magic, magic
• "Fool's Gold" on DVD

I've come to the conclusion that the concept of always want what you can't have is just reality. Not always. Smart people love what's freely given. They're content with life. They're thankful for their God given talents and treasures.

But not me.

No, I'm an idiot.

*sigh*

I think this year I'm going to work on being content. I'm fairly easy to please. I find joy in incredibly minut things. Details, sidewalk chalk, stars. So why can't I find happiness in everything else? I've been blessed with fair health, a wonderful family, the best friends a person could ask for, so what is my problem? What is there not to be content with? Is it not enough? Will God not provide for all my needs?

I am an idiot sometimes.