What to Say

Favorite things of this very moment (11:10 pm CST):

• Sex God by Rob Bell
• Being allowed to borrow books from friends
• The large blue water bottle Kayla gave me last week (it's my new best friend)
• Playing with iTunes
• Chuzzle
• Sunshine and green grass...spring is finally, truly here
• Being invited to a party for a friend who is celebrating 10 years with her kidney transplant
• Your face...sorry, couldn't resist this morning

I have Mat Nathanson's song "Come on Get Higher" stuck in my head right now. Amazing.

My title speaks the truth: I'm not sure what to say.

It's amazing how you can recommit to something and almost instantly screw it up. I won't deny that my behavior has been counterproductive the past few days, so I've decided to try something different.

Till Friday (it's a test run), I'm not going to watch movies by myself. This is not because I make horrible movie choices or anything like that. Nope, it's because I tend to eat without thinking when I'm watching movies by myself. As a result of this idea, I've already finished one book, and have only eaten a bowl of cereal so far today. Depending on how this goes for the rest of the week, I may stretch this project out a bit longer.

I've also realized I need to find more things to do with my hands. Constructive things. Things that will help build people up, encourage them, or just make their lives a little nicer.

First project on my list? Try to get several letters out this week. Second? Get all the materials together to start working on a baby blanket for a couple I'm friends with. Bright blue and a bright red, I'm thinking. That way it will work for either a boy or a girl. I like to cover all my bases, plus that just seems to be a pair of colors that will work for the family. I don't know how to explain that much better. I just want it to be something that the parents will look at and think, "Yeah, that'll work." That they won't find hideous. haha.

This concept of doing more for others comes out of Rob Bell's book, Sex God. He made the point that in Ephesians (I think, forgive me if I'm wrong about which book it's in, I'll have to double check later) Paul says that those who steal should steal no more. But he goes one step further, he tells them that they must do good works with their hands. Trade their addiction to self in for something much better. I need to be doing this. My life has become a bit too shut off. I've become a bit too self-involved, and I need to find ways to truly reach out to others and help them.

There is always a better way.