Inventory

Items purchased this morning before 10am CST:

• 2 Viva2 Tires to replace my constantly leaking front tires (when you have to put air in your tires several times a week, if not more, this is when you know you must get new tires, even if the price makes you cringe and want to cry)
• 1 tube Burt's Bees chapstick to replace the almost empty tube now residing in my pocket
• 1 container Burt's Bees Hand Salve to put in my purse because my hands are distrubingly busted up right now and they need some help
• 2 undisclosable (is that a proper word?) items because they made me smile and I think they'll make my dear best friend smile too
• 1 package of red socks (5 pairs) for the Christmas gift thing at church (they're given to people at a home in Oregon, I love being able to do something, even if it is small)
• 1 pair ultra soft red socks (the woman wanted red socks, and I wanted to cover ALL my bases)
• 1 pair red & green Christmas penguin socks (oh yes! And these are also for the nice lady who wanted red socks)
• 1 pair man's winter gloves (for the nice gentleman at the church who needed them) which are super soft and should be super warm
• 2 bottles sparkling juices because they were on sale, you can never have too many, and because this is the Christmas season and there is always a reason to celebrate
• 1 pair flannel sheets which are white with multi-colored snowflakes on them because I finally had to toss my flannel sheets last year when they developed a hole (I think it may have started when I accidently clipped them with scissors, at least that's what I'm guessing created the hole, knowing me)

Yes. And now, I will be done doing any real purchases for awhile. My money will mainly go into paying for gas in my car, contacts, and car payments until I find a new job. I'm praying that tomorrow I will run across several places that desperately want to hire a 23-year-old girl with only her associates degree and some odd ball skills to back her up. That and her ever so charming personality combined with her excellent work ethic and integrity. Let us hope.

I guess what this comes down to is a hope that you will keep me in your prayers and that nothing else will go wrong with my car. Our Lady of Blessed Acceleration is the most frustrating vehicle I have encountered maybe ever (outside of David's cars which up until his purchase of his new-ish Camry have been even more questionable than mine).

With that being said, I guess I should go wrap some Christmas present and get the last of my pre-work stuff done. May you have a wonderful day full of joy, sunshine, laughter, and absolutely free of car issues.

Tick

Favorite things of this very moment (10:02 am CST):

• The eggnog in my coffee
• Emails from a very tall, very silly friend
• Knowing I have some great plans for today
• The anticpation of Christmas
• More importantly, the anticpation of the box from Nikky (woohoo!)
• My Christmas mix for this year (which is playing "Bless Us All" from "A Muppet Christmas Carol" right now)

For anyone unaware of this particular phenomenon: I have a tick. Up until about 3 years ago, I'd never had one. Never had a twitch of any kind unless it was the kind you had to fake while acting or when I was being sarcastic with Jeff's bad behavior. When I started working in customer service at Kable, I developed a tick. The corner of my left eye will just spasmatically start twitching. It was horrible while I was in customer service. The longer I was there the worse it was.

Well, now that I'm on the brink of being unemployed (December 18th is coming more quickly than I ever imagined it would), the tick has returned. It's stress.

In a way the tick is kind of a good thing. It points out to me that something is wrong, that I need to make some changes in my life. When I was in customer service, it alerted me that my job was not worth the frustration. Even if the pay was fantastic for me. It really wasn't very much money, but it was my first full-time job and I thought it was amazing. I actually could pay for everything I needed, and kept myself fully out of debt. It was fantastic. That I miss. That is what I am looking for.

The tick tells me that my life is in for change. That this is inevitable. That despite my reservations, I am making a leap without being able to see the other side of the gap.

I am terrified. This is also what the tick means. I am scared out of my mind, and I hate this. Not knowing, not being able to control the outcome fully. Not feeling fully stable....these things make me crazy, and the tick comes out full force in those situations.

I'll be grateful when I can locate a new job. A new form of stability until I have to make my next leap...because they're always on the horizon.

Wish me luck, and please be praying for me. Thanks.