Feelings

I have had a void living in my chest for years. Three years now. Three years of holding an ache so deep inside me that I've refused to feel.

I don't know how hard it is to understand that concept. I know for me to try to explain that has been hard. The last heartbreak I had to endure was just more than I could bare. It's just hard to have that many forms of heartbreak compounded into one another in such a short span of time, and it allowed me the excuse to shut down.

The point of all of this mumbling is that, well...something is changing. Over the course of summer, my heart has changed. Softened somehow. For this I am grateful. Yeah, it does mean that I'm back to being in a position to get hurt, but I've also realize that I'm okay with that. Heartbreak is part of life.

Besides, I write better when I'm like this. I realize that this post is probably not a good example of that, but I can't say that really matters to me.

I am feeling. I'm infatuated to say the least, but this has potential. The more time I spend with this great guy friend of mine, the more I am starting to allow myself the idea that maybe he could like me too. Maybe I'm not crazy. Maybe we could be more.

Maybe. And I'm willing to wait to find out.