Silence

Favorite things of this very moment (9:27 am CST):

• Ugly Mug's Vanilla coffee
• The perfect green mug from Nikky
• The cover of my newest notbook...so many designs and such simple color (sadly, it is a store bought journal, not a creation of my own, so I can't claim the beauty I find in the cover as my own)
• Finding out that one of my favorite authors (Patricia C. Wrede) wrote several book series I had never known about which means that I will soon have more reading to do....
• The worlds softest pajama pants, even if they are bright, crazy colors and covered in coffee cups and the words "Need caffiene" in bright pretty script
• Seeing David's new car parked outside knowing that my car is now officially my own again, and that all I need to complete this joy is to get the stupid hood fixed...
• Bright colors of fall leaves
• Jack Johnson's melodious voice

I started up this morning when my alarm went off. I can honestly say it was the first time in a long time that the alarm was really what woke me up. It's been awhile since that's happened. Normally I'm in that state of conciousness where I am no longer asleep, but can't quite grasp a full state of alertness. I wasn't dreaming either, so I was pretty far in.

The weirder part was getting up and realizing the house was perfectly quiet. All I could hear was the rain which blended into the background easily as all it's done here for the past 24 hours is rain.

I put my contacts in and grabbed my hoody, but was suprised to find my thoughts confirmed when I walked into the living room to find it empty. Outside of David sleeping upstairs, no one is here. This is genuinely strange. Mom doesn't work until 11 this morning, so I assumed she'd be here, and as Dad is on vacation this week, I thought he'd be here too. My guess is that they went shopping, but I'm not concerned enough to call and check. They'll come back yet this morning.

It really is strange though to wake up to silence. It is a bit unnerving really. I've never been fond of it. I love being awake in the still quiet part of the night. To know everyone in the house is sleeping, but it's different to wake up in the quiet. The night's quiet is more friendly. You know someone is there, but in the morning...more often than not, I find myself alone.

If there is one thing I understand about myself, it's that I don't like to be alone. Not in the traditional sense anyway. I may sit alone in my room while reading in the evening when my family is home, but I always have the security of their being present. I'm not really alone. There's something about knowing they're close that makes me feel content. It's because of this that a long time ago I realized I'd never do well living alone. It would just make me slowly go crazier than I already am.

To combat the silence, I've allowed the shuffle on iTunes to take over and already done all my facebook and email checking.

I am a strange creature.