(39) Help Me Let Go

God, let me let this go

a full 2 years (...3?)

of bitterness 

all for something--

someone 

I can't ever have

What's the point 

of holding on

to loneliness

when it's a love 

that will only kill me

slowly,

painfully,

& I don't want to

seem heartless

but holding on...

Holding on any longer

with this death grip,

white knuckles,

clenched stomach,

it just hurts

Who would choose this?

This love sick life,

I tell myself I'm fine

that this is over 

I'm not still splinters

of who I wanted to be,

but I let it come to this

So break me open

call me out

tear off the callouses 

& clean up these wounds

They've been open too long

Help me, Lord

help me escape

& heal this stupid,

broke, angry, hurt heart

Because until its cleaned out

I'm never gonna be happy 

Never gonna be helpful 

Never gonna give or get

real love,

true love

Help me, Lord

help me to save

this heart, to

save me